The whirl of the fan hums from the next room. The shadow from the mirrored lamp with cream rose shade, crawls up the wall. It paints a soft soothing geometric pattern that is easy on the eyes and calming to the mind.
I made it.
I have been running in circles for over a month. My morning dates with Heavenly Dad have turned into more of a “check in” for some quick advice and a few ”Thank you!”s thrown His way. Oh, how I’ve missed Him.
He’s always waiting. He watches me chase my tail and run myself ragged. I can almost feel His breath on my neck as He whispers, “Are you finished trying to do this by yourself? This is not the life I designed for you.”
The other day I was sharing my frustration and my longing for my coffee dates with Heavenly Dad with Eric. He asked what I needed to do differently. “I don’t know… I just miss Him.“ This morning, Eric gave me a gift.
Just before our morning routine began, he said, “I just haven’t had enough time with God lately. What do you think about just taking the whole morning and spending it with Him? ” and he smiled. Right around two hours of nothing but me and Heavenly Dad? I was speechless and grateful beyond words.
Eric went his way, pen, paper, Bible, and coffee, and I went mine: study Bible, praise and worship music, coffee, and …time. I could mentally picture Eric clearing the morning table with one thunderous swipe, sending the morning routine into oblivion. Aaaand I can breathe.
Heavenly Dad gave me this yesterday but today I get to actually chew through it:
Matthew 6:22 “The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!”
I was frustrated and confused. How could my eyes be a lamp for a light that’s inside of me? Haven’t we all heard, “what goes in comes out?” This verse was saying nothing about how the outside was affecting my inside, only focusing on what’s inside of me. What the heck?
My study Bible wasn’t much help. It was talking about evil making me squint thus causing me to take in less light. But that’s not what the verses said. That’s an example of why I set the goal of reading through the Bible by myself. I’m tired of everybody else telling me what the Bible says and taking different parts, putting them together, and coming up with something completely different than what Heavenly Dad had in mind for me. I am over being told what the Bible says instead of reading it for myself. So let’s go back to what Heavenly Dad really had to say to me.
It said what’s inside of me comes out of my eyes, which means how I view everything around me. If I am full of light, I see everything as bright. This was such a cool mental picture! I asked Eric if he would put on his headlamp for a visual. He did, without hesitation, and I took a picture.
The light that’s coming from him lights everything in front of him. He can see everything, won’t trip, can work with precision (surgery, anyone?), and can see the best in everything. Everything is in full light and can be clearly seen.
When he turns off the light, if I am full of darkness, everything around me is dark and I’m helpless, lost in the darkness around me. I’ll trip and fall. I’m feeling my way in the dark and guessing what my next move should be. If I try to see Eric or anyone else, I can’t see them or the best qualities on or in them. That means I also can’t see them for who God created them to be because it’s dark and I can’t see anything but the darkness. Whoa.
Light bulb! What this is saying is my view of the world around me comes from what is inside of me. If Heavenly Dad is living in me and I have his love, hope, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and so on, shining on everything around me. I am going to view the world with those filters. The brighter the light that’s in me the more clearly I will see around me. Instead of the world—darkness, coming into me, it’s the light in me that’s supposed to help me see IT more clearly with God’s eyes.
Example… Example… Example. If someone does me wrong, I need to recognize it’s because they don’t have the light in them. Instead of feeling sorry for myself when they’re cruel to me, I need to feel sorry for them because they have no light. If they had light, they wouldn’t treat me that way. That’s hard If I’m letting the world around me come into my eyes (breaking my heart and telling me I’m not good enough) instead of light coming out of my eyes so I can see them through God’s eyes and have compassion on them for their brokenness.
Here is another I’ve heard before, but now I understand: if a man cheats on his wife, instead of focusing all of my pity on her, remind her that she has not changed. She is beautiful, strong, loved. She will be OK because her identity in Christ has not changed—just like my mom. Shockingly, I need to feel sorry for him. He is in trouble. The light is not in him and he is living a lie in darkness. That is definitely different than what the world teaches. My mom was proof that beauty does come out of ashes because she did eventually find the love of her life.
This topic started spiraling my thoughts into the reasons people do what they do with the “if it feels good, do it” mentality. Actions without consideration of the consequences for the wake of hurt people they leave behind…but that is almost the definition of darkness, isn’t it? They can’t see the hurt if it’s covered/hidden in darkness.
Once they have the light they won’t want to cause the hurt. They can then see how their actions affect others and make adjustments quickly when they do. Does that make sense?
According to this verse, the brighter the light in me—close relationship with Heavenly Dad living me—is the way I am supposed to view the world. I am to see those around me for who and what God created them to be and show compassion when I realize others don’t have but NEED the light.
Ahhhhh! Thanks Dad! Good talk❤️
In my praise and worship time this song came on—AMAZING! These two lovely ladies are having a “heart to heart” with their SOULS!!! Take a listen…and take heart ❤️
Until next time: Blessings!