“I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also” (2 Timothy 1:5).
This verse had me step back and look at where and who I came from. All the crap from the past started eeking in until I got “the nudge.”
God is seriously confronting me about my justification of negative feelings based on the happenings of yesterdays and everyday injustices. The world tells me I have a right to feel angry, bewildered, judged, slighted, belittled, abandoned, whatever: you fill in the blank. God keeps saying, “But I’m IN YOU. Look in the mirror and see Me. Am I angry, bewildered, judged, slighted, belittled, abandoned?
Then why are you?
I am learning (one semi-painful event at a time) that when someone is pulling a fast one on me, they are ultimately doing it to God. It’s their heart that’s not right. Even if I’m “taken,” I need to feel sorry for them because they reeeeally need God and my future is secure. Sometimes that reality doesn’t hit me until I’ve wallowed in self-pity for a bit and then it’s like a lightbulb comes on. He says, “Are you done?” I’m laughing and tearing right now thinking about how often this has happened lately. The quicker I come to that realization, the less painful the overall experience, as He is the Healer of all situations.
Would you like a crazy example?
Sarai, who’s husband was a leader and “big man” was intimidated by her beauty. When they went to travel through an unfamiliar county he told her to tell others that she was his sister because he feared the nationals would kill him to get to her. So much for chivalry. He even allowed another man to take her as his wife–WHAT?!?! Thank goodness God had her back and afflicted the bewildered man and his house with great plagues because of Sarai. The man was no fool and gave her back promptly, demanding to know why he had been lied to in the first place. Did her dear hubby learn? Absolutely…not! He did it to her again when she was super old! Grief! So much for the golden years without drama.
This is a sinful world and Sarai was betrayed by her husband for his own self-protection. It would be easy to blame God for not stopping the situation from happening at all instead of, “Clean up! Isle 7! Department Sarai!” When those thoughts creep into my head, instead of dwelling on them and building my case against God, I ask Him to reveal the truth.
When a baby is learning to walk, do they fall? Sometimes horrible, life-altering injuries occur in the midst of innocent child development. Aren’t parents supposed to protect their children at all times? The truth is, if they carry them their entire lives they may never get hurt. That child will also never learn to walk, run, drive, take care of themselves, or experience everything God has created for them to do and see.
Trusting and letting go is risky and doesn’t always work out the way we think/hope/dream it will. As responsible parents shouldn’t we want to stand back and give our children the opportunity to succeed instead of assuming they are going to fail? I’m keeping this in mind as I recognize God is my Heavenly FATHER. His heart’s desire is for me to SHINE, not force me into a box to accommodate those around me (I need to remember that about my kids, too❤️).
I’m ultimately focusing: Heavenly Dad did not create me for this world. His design is for me to someday stand by His side, walk and talk with Him, face to face. When I do fall/wipe out completely on this earth, I need to believe that God is taking those times of crisis and using them as an opportunity to “embellish” me so I can shine even brighter.
“I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also” (2 Timothy 1:5)
In the midst of my mental meanderings, I’m grateful to be able to say my mom, like Lois and Eunice, demonstrated her sincere faith to me. May their legacy continue through me. May I not get so caught up/not release my yesterday’s that I turn them into my tomorrows.
Until next time: Blessings!