All I Know Is: not much—but Enough

Colossians 4:2, NIV: “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.”

Watchful and thankful…watchful and thankful…watchful and thankful… . This was the verse of the day that I was pondering. I started praying through it and I was wondering what I supposed to be watchful for. For some reason my mind went back to our Thursday Bible study.

Eric and I love to listen to pastors or teachers that we don’t normally listen to, just to see what they have to say compared to how we believe. We came upon a pastor from the church that Eric used to attend. He now travels and teaches and they no longer refer to his messages as “sermons.” The person who wrote the article referred to the people in line as going to a “show.” Interesting. It was also interesting that this gentleman did a question and answer time before the “show.“

A young man asked a question that challenged this speaker. The man asked how a loving God could allow his wife to be pregnant with a child that they knew was either going to die or have serious medical issues. The speaker was quiet and pondered for a moment. He didn’t really have an answer except to tell the young man to stay away from people that quoted scriptures like, “all things work together for the good of those that love God,” and similar scriptures.

Some listening to the interview would be shocked, appalled, and would choose to take offense. As I listened though, my mind went back to Archie’s first diagnosis with cancer. Those scriptures are exactly what my pastor’s wife quoted to me. It was not comforting. I honestly felt judged and that she didn’t feel like my “feelings” were valid. The idea that I was supposed to take my focus off of Archie‘s pain in the moment and think happy thoughts about the future seemed cold and insensitive. But who am I?

When I heard that preacher say those words, conflict was brewing within me. My heart knew the Scriptures to be true but at that time I was hurting. God felt 1,000,000 miles away. I knew using his roadmap would ultimately get me to the right destination. I also knew the path I was on had rocky roads, raging rivers, deep caverns, hills and valleys, and things that I didn’t know how to get through. I longed for a guide who would meet me where I was at, take me by the hand to help me up the difficult parts and catch me when I would fall backwards. I didn’t need someone ahead of me, across the abyss in front, screaming about how wonderful the Destination was going to be. Then again, that’s just me.

Thursday night, the subject came up. Thankfully (watchful and thankful) The people of our group had a good understanding of my feelings. Heavenly Dad spoke to me in that moment.

What would you say if someone asked that question to you, “Where is God when…?”

All I know is God loves you. All I know is He loved you so much He gave His only… Only Son to die FOR YOU so you can be with Him. All I know is I am so imperfect the price of my forgiveness was so high it cost Jesus his life.

I don’t know why this is happening. All I know is that He doesn’t want you to hurt. He didn’t cause this issue but I realize He maybe allowing it. All I know is you don’t have to go through this alone. He wants to give you comfort, a safe place to hurt and heal.

Isaiah 25:4a For You have been a defense for the helpless, A defense for the needy in his distress,
A refuge from the storm, a shade from the heat;

Psalm 46 God is our refuge and strength, a great help in times of distress. Therefore we will not be frightened when the earth roars, when the mountains shake in the depths of the seas, when its waters roar and rage, when the mountains tremble despite their pride.

When I was in my darkest hours and was so alone I pictured myself under Heavenly wings, protected from blasts of unknown turbulence, rain, cold, preditors, anything and everything.

Psalm 36:7 How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! And the children of men take refuge in the shadow of Your wings.

All I know is…I felt safe.

I don’t have any answers to why things happen. All I know is…I am His child that He scooped up off the floor, out of a puddle of tears. He comforted me when no one else had any words and or failed to show up. Though He didn’t give me back my best friend, eventually (after loooong hours with Him and some healing) He have gave me a another/different best friend who graces me with no pressure to hid or forget my past.

All I know is: He can be there for you.

Until next time: blessings!

Author: Tracy Cook

Widowed one week before our 27th wedding anniversary, Heavenly Dad continues to carry me, now blessing me with a second chance for love.

2 thoughts on “All I Know Is: not much—but Enough”

  1. Those questions are always so hard … the “why would a loving God …” questions. I used to struggle a lot with that as a nurse; thought I should have an answer for everyone about any question. I once consulted a very wise man – my father in law and pastor – about how I could answer such questions. His response? “You won’t have an answer for everyone”. Basically just be there to be the Light in the moment, support for the struggle. That still impacts how I cope with these issues even today. This was a great reminder, Tracy. Thanks.

  2. I once heard it said that the only good, true response in moments of agony and grief is presence.
    There are no answers in such times, and, truly, who cares “why?” anyways. No, we want don’t truly want to know why; we want it changed- BETTER- we want it to not hurt. So the “why” is usually- deep down- irrelevant. Thus, in our moments of deepest need and sorrow, no words offer aid or comfort, only the responding present of one’s presence, and THAT is right where God is.

    At our lowest, He is closest. He sits with us, yearns with us, weeps with us, agonizes with us; He who carried our iniquities also shoulders our burdens; our beloved, pierced Savior joins us in our dust and ashes, our wailing and misery, and FEELS it ALL. Before resurrecting Lazarus, that’s right where He was- weeping with those who grieved (likely weeping for their short-sized, human perspective of “life” and eternity as well as weeping alongside them, as one does who loves another in their grief).
    The God of all creation, all-powerful and all-knowing, grieves the agonies brought about by the broken world humanity has wrought for itself and weeps alongside His suffering children.

    Will He indeed turn all things for good in the end? Yes. His Word says so, and so of this I am certain. Why else would He allow such agonies and travesties as occur in this world to endure, if not for an ultimately BETTER ending? For a GREATER good than would otherwise occur? But, in the moment, in the muck and mire of the heavy-laden soul, where IS God? The answer, quite simply, is:
    He is THERE.

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