Teach Me

Psalm 51:10-11 “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me.”

“but I don’t have time… Maybe I can take it to work and do it at break… It’s just one day… .”

This is me arguing with me. Do you ever do that? My morning did not start as I wanted it to. My back hurt so the excuses started from the moment my eyes popped open.

I think I told you about my day starting at 2:30 in the morning. Since clarity doesn’t come until after coffee, I try to head off as many excuses to not do what I know I should do before I pull the sheets up at night. I usually go to bed in whatever I’m gonna work out in the next morning. Why? One less thing to do, technically three: I don’t have to think about what I’m wearing to bed, I’m saving laundry, and have one less excuse why not to work out in the morning(getting ready or changing).

After nearly falling out of bed in the morning, I mumble some sort of morning phrase to Eric and then drag myself to Clisthby. A few sips of the magical brew, quick stop in the restroom (must chase Hal away so I can stand myself-halitosis) and then off to battle! The movie War Room is my distraction of choice and I am close to having what scene-to-start-where to make it thru my workout.

Sometimes I love it but other times there are constant excuses in my head as to why it’s OK to stop early. The longer it takes to argue with myself the further I get in the work out. Finally, I concede that I’m almost done and focus on the movie. It’s much more enjoyable when I finally stop squabbling with myself.

After, I jump into the shower, super quick and do a five to ten minute doo. I guess you could safely say, I’m not exactly high maintenance. For me, I just want to get through all of the last hour and 15 minutes or so to get to the good part: my time with Heavenly Dad.

Today my devotions were about the Holy Spirit. Next, I read my chapters in the Bible in the program to read thru the Bible in a year. Day 124 can be checked off the list-Whoot, Whoot! Psalms 51 mentioned that David asked God not to remove the Holy Spirit from him. That one needs more contemplation so a notation was jotted in my margin. I was a little shocked because I didn’t think the Holy Spirit was really mentioned until after Jesus died on the cross. Two mentions of the Holy Spirit, cool, but my time was running short.

I like to have plenty of time to pray. Lately, I’ve been journaling my prayers. I write for a bit and then pause and wait to see what else God brings to mind. What I’ve added to my morning schedule is the book, “The Power of a Praying Wife.“ There laid the dilemma for the morning: I felt like there had to be a choice of either the book or a longer prayer time. One is a prayer strategy, the other is putting legs on that strategy and I didn’t have time for contemplation. I think at that point I just said, “God what do you want me to do?“

In the book, “Power of a Praying Wife,“ there are prayers that are written out. I justified, “well at least I know how to put my thoughts together if I read the book.“ This is always a good thing before the coffee fully takes affect. I grabbed the book.

Today’s chapter was about praying for Eric‘s walk with Heavenly Dad. When it came to the prayer part, I started laughing! What “just happened” to be within the prayer!? Psalm 51:9-10. I was praying that God would not remove his spirit from Eric. Now I ask you, what are the chances of me praying through the Bible on day 124 AND being on the same passage of scripture I am reading in a book I just picked up randomly about a week and a half ago to reread for the umpteenth time?

What are the chances of this on the same day as my Holy Spirit devotions? Some call this coincidence while others call it karma. I now recognize it as relationship with my Heavenly Father. He knows the number of the hairs on my head so He realizes His daughter is thick skulled. Telling me once is like shooting me with a with a foam dart. It will bounce off. He needs to repeat himself multiple times for the point to penetrate to my mind and trickle down to my heart. How does this happen? I ask, “Father, teach me…”

I don’t know how to be the wife Eric needs. Though a wife for 27 years, Archie was totally different from Eric. Their needs were and are completely different. I have no idea what I’m doing!

Instead of assuming I know what Eric needs and asking God for specifics, my prayer is a constant, “Heavenly Father, please… Teach me.” The Great Designer created Eric perfectly to accomplish great things. It’s my job to learn how to support and encourage so as to not get in His way! Since I’m a pathetic mind reader the best way to know and understand Eric (even better than asking him) is collaborating with the One who designed and created him. In all honesty, I doubt if Eric even knows what he’s capable of, but it’s going to be fun finding out! I’m grabbing my prayer journal, bag of popcorn and settling in as Heavenly Dad peels back the layers. Eric is emerging from the Heavenly cocoon and I am blessed with a front row seat!

Self check: in what other areas of My life should I be asking, “teach me…?”

Until next time: Blessings!

Author: Tracy Cook

Widowed one week before our 27th wedding anniversary, Heavenly Dad continues to carry me, now blessing me with a second chance for love.

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