He will swallow up death forever. The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove the disgrace of his people from all the earth. The LORD has spoken. Isaiah 25:8
The red rocking chairs slowly appear out from under the shadow of night. I sip my coffee, feet tucked under the pile of pillows on the coach, as sunlight peeks into the window and crawls across the floor towards me. The hum of the fan for “white noise” is now just noise as it’s sound drowns out the melodies of the birds singing, “Good morning!”
366 days ago Eric and I were going to say,”We do!” did and now we are here. Oh, what a journey! Had we both known what we know now, we might have done things a little differently, but maybe not.
What we are learning is when we opened OUR fairytale, instead of crisp new pages on which to write, two very different rough drafts were wasting pages. We had to cross out and/or erase the expectations of our individual story lines. This endeavor takes energy, time and ultimately, healing. Thankfully, we have agreed to both release our pens, giving them to the Author of time past, present and yet to be. We figure His story has a far better chance at making our novel a Best Seller than either of our pathetic story lines.
One hot topic affecting our subject matter is who we WERE. “I do” doesn’t mean “I never did…” and we are finding that there are memories and fears that past mistakes are hidden somewhere in future pages. We live in anticipation of beginning a new chapter and the flaw of a previous poor choice will be staring at us once again: Different book, same content.
This is not who Heavenly Dad says we are. He said
Micah 17:19 “You (God) will have ·mercy [compassion] on us again; you will conquer our sins. You will ·throw away [hurl; cast] all our sins into the ·deepest part [depths] of the sea.”
Hebrews 8:12 “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”
If He doesn’t remember what we did wrong than who are we in His eyes?
2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”
Have Eric and I fully embraced that we are not who we once were? Have we acknowledged His power to put to death (like it cannot be resurrected because it’s dead-dead) our old selves and the freedom to live without fear of slipping backwards? Absolutely…not, but the more time we spend with Him, often begging Him to take these burdens/fears from us, He teaches us. We cannot expect Him to pry these issues out of our hands. He wants us to willingly release and give them to Him, knowing that we walk in the freedom that He already died for. The power was and is in His blood.
We need to stop fearing who we were and recognize who we now are: His children that He loved enough to die for so we could be changed and free. Will we accept His gift of forgiveness and freedom?
Here’s an afterthought: if He can and does forgive and forget our mistakes… Why is it so hard to forgive and forget ourselves?
Until next time: Blessings!