Month: January 2020

Get the Hell Out

“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”
Ephesians‬ ‭6:12‬ ‭

Eric and I have been through a living hell and back in this world. Coming clean, we allowed it. You could almost say we pre-planned, bought the tickets, paid for them in person, packed our bags, and sought out the Destination.Would you like the synopsis?

Continue reading “Get the Hell Out”

I Can’t Do This!

Romans 8:26 “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”

As Eric and I have been working towards learning God’s love, this phrase, “I can’t do this,“ has come up many times. Have you ever said that? Sometimes it’s over big things, sometimes over small things. Sometimes it’s said when small things seem big at the time. Do you know what I mean?

That’s the absolute best place to be. If WE can’t do something then we are finally out of God’s way so He can do “His thing:” Bring peace, clarity and love. We stop trying to run our own lives with our own strength, abilities, strategy, wit and whatever other selfish tools we think we have that are better than what God has it in His toolbox.

I laugh when I stop and evaluate my reality: I am a mere apprentice to the Master Craftsman who made heaven and earth. Is it possible for me to carve the perfect “project,” we call life, when I’m just being introduced to what tools I have at my fingertips?

The tools seem heavy and awkward. I whittle away, scraping at the wood but for all of my efforts, a shapeless form sits on my workbench. I sigh and am irritated. The harder I work, the more tired and frustrated I become.

Finally, when I throw up my hands and yell (I’m reeeeally over myself at this point), ”I CAN’T DO THIS!” The Master appears by my side. Sometimes He has a new tool to teach me, other times He takes the tool I have in my hand and teaches me how to use it properly, effectively, and often the surrendered results are immediate.

One thing I have noticed on a consistent basis is that in order to gain fine detail, the Master often has to cut very deep. This removes areas I thought were necessary and important. Since He is the Master, I hold my breath, bite my lip, watch and learn. I have to trust because if I stop him as He is plunging that tool into that misshapen form, beauty will not emerge. The form will be muddled, ugly, and wounded. I have to let him finish what He starts and trust it’s going to be perfect in the end. I know it will be.

Our next step towards love was and is the confession that we have no idea what we are doing. We agree that the only way to the masterpiece our Heavenly Father(Jesus) has in mind for us, is close and constant communication with Him. The problem is, with this relationship thing, it’s a fresh block of wood! We’re supposed to be creating a masterpiece together. The Master has given us the picture of the end result but we both have started carving in different areas. We have gouged and maimed the piece and tried to tell each other how they other should be holding their tool.

I am ashamed when I think of the Master waiting in the shadows watching this display. The entire time He was whispering, “Just ask… Just ask me. I have the answer.” Tears trickled down His face as His children were placing their egos and self-centeredness, not only before each other, but more pointedly, Him. We dishonored our Father.

Long story short – – too late, we raised our hands and said,”We can’t do this!”


Guess who showed up?

What do you do when the Master of all is standing by your side and you’re looking at the mess you created together? How do you even know what the first question should be? Where do we even start? Thankfully, we didn’t wait long.

Romans 8:26 “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”

Heartfelt supports the Dani Johnson training and allows opportunities to dig in together, along with our spouses. Dani shares what she has learned FROM FAILING. It’s hard not to listen when she still has to deal with the natural consequences from mistakes made a quarter of a century ago.

What she learned living through that(a failed suicide attempt) was who God is. He has the answers to all of the messes we create. She also reminds us that we can’t fix or preach at anyone else. The only person we have the power to work on is ourselves. When we put Jesus as King of kings and Lord of lords back on His throne and we get off, He will double, triple, ultimately multiply whatever pathetic effort we have put it.

With that being said, literally, this is day 2 of us hitting the Restart button and returning Him to the throne of our lives. Don’t get me wrong, the really rough patches, thankfully, were a long time ago and He has healed and restored 10 times over where we were. But we both know this life could be a whole heck of a lot better! The best is yet to come 🙂

Welcome to our journey. Until next time: blessings!