I’m Fine But I’m Not

Psalm 16:11 You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

“You make known…” did you notice the next word isn’t “today” or “tomorrow?”

Taylor’s baby shower just ended. As I was going through her childhood pictures in preparation, I clearly see that Heavenly Dad directed each of her steps individually, lighting one step at a time. Seeing the transformation from giggly bouncing baby girl to the woman now carrying my grandbaby, I can only thank Heavenly Dad for His protection from too much information, too soon. Out of defense, self-protection, survival, maybe even fear, I know her well enough to know she would have “adjusted” herself out of the life she currently has.

Add to that the words singing from my earbuds by Matthew West (Truth be Told) about the lies the world tells: you’re supposed to have it all together: “When asked how we are, we smile and say,’never better!’ Lie #2: Everybody’s life is perfect, except yours. So keep your messes and your wounds and your secrets safe with you behind closed doors. I say I’m fine, yes I’m fine, hey, I’m fine…but I’m not. I’m broken.”

I look at the ultrasound pictures and realize all of the struggles and pain were smoothing the path and paving the way for her precious little one. No cost was too great to bring them into being.

Author: Tracy Cook

Widowed one week before our 27th wedding anniversary, Heavenly Dad continues to carry me, now blessing me with a second chance for love.

One thought on “I’m Fine But I’m Not”

  1. I loved loved the devotional you gave. I loved that you did not sugar coat motherhood. It’s messy, ugly, depressing. But with God he can turn it into a beautiful Blessing.

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