Maturity? Trying to Avoid Being Blinded By Light

2 Corinthians 4: 18 “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

After battling with my sight, a changing prescription and new glasses/trifocals that my eyes refuse to adjust to, this verse had new meaning.

Many of you have been on this journey with me long enough to know my retina layers have separated in certain areas. The long term prognosis is: there isn’t one. There is no rhyme or reason as to why (grief has been the speculation) it happened and they tell me it may remain in this condition for the rest of my life. I’m not sure if that is suppose to bring me peace of mind but, honestly, it does help.

One interesting experience I have had on my journey to fifty is changing eyesight. One day I could read my hand written list without glasses, the next day I couldn’t. WHAT?!?? That’s when I was scared enough to call and schedule an eye exam as soon as possible. A new and stronger prescription were needed. Thankfully, another,”Your layers haven’t changed,” was stated matter-of-factually and, unbeknownst to them, my blood pressure probably dropped 20 points. A new prescription was written, glasses ordered (the most expensive IN MY LIFE) and off I went. Getting older isn’t for the faint of heart (if it was they would not have been able to revive me from passing out due to sticker shock for the goggles, just kidding) and I knew adjustments would need to be made.

The new glasses came in and I immediately knew something was amiss. I couldn’t read words by looking down (the “tri” in tri-focal). They placed an apparatus over the classes, backing off of the prescription, and everything became clear. Wow! What a difference.

This is where my time with Heavenly Dad gets interesting… .

One of my devotionals this week was comparing dilating eyes to check the inner eye condition to spiritual eyesight (Boyd Bailey, Wisdom Hunters). I thought it was funny that eye exams were referenced when I was having conversations about what I can do about the blurred vision from my new eye apparel.

Goofy things like this happen in my life and I immediately laugh and think,”This would preach, lol!” I then wonder why the heck I had that thought and what it has to do with me. I usually chew on it, it shows up in my TAWG (time alone with God-yes, that’s a NMC youth group term that is a permanent part of my vocabulary) and eventually it ends up in this blog.

I’m not a preacher, so I’m just going to spew all of these crazing nuggets and hope that Heavenly Dad puts them together in a way that it makes sense. How’s that?

What’s going on in my life right now is a pretty intense interest in “End Times” stuff. I love how prophesy (the books of Daniel and Revelation) has info that matches with what is going on in the world today-WHAT!?!? Though it is helping me understand what is going on around me, I have to be very careful. With continuing my spiritual growth and understanding the guidebook comes the need for a maturity (maybe I should stop there??? LOL).

Today I am challenged to make sure my new found excitement isn’t conveyed in a way that blurs the vision Heavenly Dad has for me to love and serve. Like the dilated eyes that allow in tons of light (sunshine and light are wonderful, if controlled) or the prescription that was too condensed in one spot, if I come across with too much intensity, I loose the focus of what really matters. I could forget about worshiping my Heavenly Dad.

I tend to want to focus on the facts more than taking the time alone with Him to be filled to the point of overflowing with His forgiveness, grace, mercy, and unconditional love. That time/relationship is what drives me to want to tell others about His love and sacrifice, ultimately paying the penalty for their sin, but even more SHOWING by DOING. Worship takes time or would that be worship IS time: quiet and focusing on Heavenly Dad.

Chris Tomlin has some amazing quotes about worship:

Worship isn’t a feeling you wait for, it’s a choice you make

Worship comes from a thankful heart

One of my favorite quotes from Chris is his challenge to shine the light of Heavenly Dad: “… to be a lighthouse versus a flashlight” Ultimately, not getting in His way of what He’s wants to do through me. This will hopefully drive me to reach as many people possible navigating the storms of life with His light. I want to help them find safety, peace, and calm.

I hope I didn’t write in circles and my rambling made sense. It’s been a weird week in my time with Him. Today is the day I take a week’s worth of nuggets and whispers and try to wrap them into one complete thought. I was like,”What are you saying to me? What do you want me to say? So…here it is.

As for the ongoing Eric/Tracy story, we are up to my January disaster.

The plan was for Eric to move into the little house and help wrap up the construction issues, about 15% left. Unfortunately, when we moved Eric, his sofa was heavier and more awkward than me. When the challenge presented itself I was all in, which means my back went completely out. New Year’s Eve was spent in massive pain and Eric taking care of my fury kids so I wouldn’t have to crawl off the couch. I continued in agonizing pain, weekly visits to the chiropractor and no work on the little house. Without direction, Eric said he was also at a standstill. Eric lived in a construction zone for the month and I hired some help in February to get the the lights into the ceilings and trim up. There had to be a plan in there somewhere…???? That is for another day.

Until next time: Blessings!

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