Scar Tissue Prejudice

For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:1

When I look into the glass and see who truly knows me, there’s a heck of a lot more than two eyes starring back at me.

What do you see when you look in the mirror? Are you only looking at the person directly in front of you? How different would our self evaluation be if we took in and processed our surroundings in that mirror and remembered the journey to that moment in time?

Oh, wait, we are in the middle of a story, aren’t we? Where did we leave off? Oh, yes, the pastry in my refrigerator from Michigan and my struggle with Bible truth:

2 Corinthian 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. “

OK, now for some more truth: my struggle was not only the Biblical truth about a new creation. My struggle was also because I was a child of divorce and knew that pain. I saw wounds inflicted by two people who, at one time, loved each other. I saw the scars and experienced the damage of scar tissue after the wounds were supposedly healed. I had no desire to bind those wounds or help carry that baggage.

More confession, be prepared to look down on me(no more than I have on myself, rest assured). I felt like I had enough baggage to carry, that wasn’t by my doing. I felt divorce was sort of a person creating their own luggage.

Getting even dirtier, I confess a self righteous attitude. I felt the weight on the scale of grief for self inflicted circumstances, verses those beyond a person’s control, should have different value. Crap, quite “Holier than Thou,” don’t you think? Please don’t answer.. .

Bottom line, I didn’t want to be involved.

The residual effects of divorce lasts a lifetime: kids always feel like they Have to choose sides, even at the age of 40.

What I sometimes forget, however, is that the pain goes both ways. When parents look into their kid’s eyes they see the pain they’ve caused, and there is nothing they can do or say to comfort or return the “safe and secure “ feelings those kids once had. They are forever gone, even if the parents reunite we kids fear,”will it happen again???”

Been there. Done that. Bought the tee shirt. Not an experience I recommend. Enough said.

My spirit came to agree with the “New Creation,” explained in the Bible. Now for my own prejudices and facing the trials my parents walked and still walk through, at least the ones remaining.

My mom passed away three years before Archie did. I adore my stepdad and his new (ish) wife who I lovingly call,”my stepmom once removed.”

My stepmom, my dad’s wife, is awesome, as well, and has been in my life since I was 15. I can’t imagine my dad without her. She makes him a better and more loving person. She completes him.

A smidge bit more honesty: Growing up with the constant pain of my parent’s relationship, along with the revolving door of parental breakups and reconciliations, I wish artificial insemination could have been a viable option (I adore my siblings), lol.

As I peered into the mirror of my life, the reflection of my steps looking back at me was undeniable. Their influences and support, especially in the adult years and my losses, have helped me to become who I am. Though not in Heavenly Dad’s plan, He put the verse Romans 8:28 in the guidebook for a reason:

28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

PLEASE don’t take this as a license for divorce. Fight for your marriage (it’s easier on the back as there’s a ton less baggage). Every “Once upon a time” deserves a “and they lived happily ever after,” even if the carriage broke down a few times in between.

My steps are strong—they had to be. Was I? Only through Him. I need to remember, He only gives what we can handle and He carries the rest, right? Well, if and when we release it anyway.

All of this to say: Mr. Michigan and I decided we should have a meet-n-greet. With all my ramblings, that will have to save for…the next time.

Blessings!

Author: Tracy Cook

Widowed one week before our 27th wedding anniversary, Heavenly Dad continues to carry me, now blessing me with a second chance for love.

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