An Eclair in My Refrigerator

Isaiah 42:8 I am the Lord, that is my name; my glory I give (or share) to no other.

All our lives we are told to “take turns” or “share.” When it comes to my relationship with Heavenly Dad, those roots do not apply.

My morning is a bit out of sequence as I write. Breakfast is done, pot of coffee brewed, and all lights are off but a single lamp above the computer. The low but constant hum of a bathroom fan in my St. Paul, MN hotel room competes with Selah, Philips, Craig & Dean, Matthew West, Colton Dixon, Tauren Wells, and Steven Curtis Chapman singing from my phone. In the stillness I ask Dad,”Please speak to me,” and as I do my eyes well…because I know He will. Matthew 7:7“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”

He’s been watching and waiting in the shadows for me to block everything out and make time for Him.

This existence is busy. Sometimes I get so caught up in doing the next right thing I forget that being is His presence is my place to refuel and refocus on the purpose behind running the race called life. It’s easy to do. The world pressures us to be somebody, accomplish something, go go go, strive, succeed.

Truth be told, we learn the meaning of success through our failures. Our body builds muscle as it repairs itself in the down time between workouts. Ultimately, we can’t hear God and His direction in the noise of the wind rushing past our ears when we sprint from one appointment to the next.

Breath, Time for a refill of coffee…ahhhh. I inhale deeply, filling my lungs with the majestic air permeated with the fresh brew. “Dad?”

Casting Crowns is counseling me about the width and depths of His love from my phone, reminding me of His praise, so I do.

Thank you Dad, for the allowing me another day. Thank you for getting this achy body out of bed and getting me through stretches to keep me healthy and going (with my back that is such a blessing!), an amazing breakfast, and allowing Eric on the other end of the phone to say good morning and give instruction about how to get the computer going.

Thank you for Heartfelt and the opportunity to love on people in this wonderful state of MN. Thank you for family I love so dearly that I will be excited to see when I get home. Thank you for my “good morning!” from my brother-in-law Bobby and the reminder that death cannot separate family. Thank you for providing all of my needs, keeping a roof over my head, food on my table, fury kids at my feet. Thank you for putting the desires in my heart and helping me to bring color and creativity to others when their lives seem stark and uninspired. Thank you for listening. Thank you for caring. Thank you for loving me enough to sacrifice your only son so I can be with you one day in paradise. Thank you, Father. Amen

I owe you the end of a story, but technically, it’s just the beginning. Here is goes:

In September of 2018 I was writing back and forth with a sheriff in Wisconsin. We did do a meet-n-greet and he was a nice enough person and he could make me laugh until my ribs hurt. But…something was amiss. Heavenly Dad’s protection is there if you listen for the whispers. Though I was having a great time, I told him I knew we weren’t the right match. He tried to convince me to continue the conversations, but there were missing times in conversations where he would just “disappear.” He would want to chat a couple of hours later, always having an excellent reason. Did I mention: something was amiss? Finally, he relented and we didn’t chat for about a week. I jumped back online and was approached by a gentleman from Michigan.

Remember what I said about Heavenly Dad’s protection? One week later, Mr. Wisconsin accidentally texted me a message for another woman, having a pet name for her, and telling her he loved her. Oh, my word, I had to laugh! Again, Heavenly Dad was totally protecting my heart so I thought the situation was hilarious as I responded,”Ummmmm, I think this might have been meant for someone else. Good luck with Poohky.” This, of course, is another reason to protect your heart as online, people can have many relationships going at one time and you need to be aware of that (again with the suggestion: MEET THE PERSON AS SOON AS POSSIBLE).

Mr. Michigan and I chatted for a while and talked Bible A LOT, that was a first. Unfortunately, he was divorced and I had set that as a “deal breaker,” so I asked him to stop contacting me, so he did. I went on to talk to a gentlemen who owned his own heating and cooling company in lower IN who also claimed to be a Christian. Unfortunately, he decided to play the “talk dirty” card so: BLOCK and that was over quickly. I changed my profile picture a week or so later and Mr. Michigan commented,”Nice picture.”

When you chat quite a bit with new people and retell your basic story over and over, when a familiar, ummmm face?, appears, it’s like a breath of fresh air. I was like,”Hey! How are you?” and we chatted for a bit. We talked about a meet-n-greet but could never get the right time. Besides, no divorced guys, remember? Ooops! Getting too close and I was starting to think about this one too much because we actually talked about Heavenly Dad, the unexpected paths our lives had taken.

If you have ever read the book, His Needs, Her Needs, they reference “eclairs in your refrigerator.” Basically it says that if you go on a diet and you have eclairs in your refrigerator you have a choice to make: you either pitch them because you are committed to your new way of life or if you justify, “they are perfectly good eclairs, someone may want them sometime” you are not committed because you are leaving temptation in your house. Mr Michigan was an eclair in my refrigerator, and he needed to go.

I asked him to stop chatting and he honored me. Back to the websites (2) where I met the dry humor guy who was nagging me for my personal phone number (meaning the chats would no longer be on the websites). When I continued to refuse, he called me a d-bag. Nice. Delete.

There were others but that just meant different profile, same type of guy. Often divorced, some widowed. Often widowed, then they had jumped into a terrible marriage and ended up divorced shortly thereafter (I felt terrible for them). Then there were the separated guys who admitted that they were just,”seeing what was out there.” I would quickly shew them back to their wives–ewwwww!

Early November came, along with a surprise smile from Mr. Michigan. “Hey, you!” and the familiar face was back. This time we not only talked about the paths we were on but what mistakes we made along the way and the various attempts to rectify them. Mr. Michigan had been divorced twice. He had considered himself a “Christian” as one who pulls out the card when it is time to enter the pearly gates:”Wait a minute. I know I said the magic words and got the card…”but no relationship there after. After divorce #2, Heavenly Dad revealed to him that there are no magic words, there is no card.

Revelation 3:16 “So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.”

Mr. Michigan gave his life to Heavenly Dad and was healed from pornography and other struggles. Now I was in a quandary.

2 Corinthian 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

If old things are gone and Mr. Michigan is a new creation, was he still in the category of “divorced dude?” Then again, if that part of the Bible isn’t true, what other parts did I think should be torn out and irrelevant to my current situation? This was getting complicated and the man was still in my refrigerator.

With that being said, the clock is screaming because the show floor opens for set up in 30 minutes. I must go. We’ll pick back up the next time we meet, dear friend.

Until next time: Blessings!

Author: Tracy Cook

Widowed one week before our 27th wedding anniversary, Heavenly Dad continues to carry me, now blessing me with a second chance for love.

One thought on “An Eclair in My Refrigerator”

  1. I’m such a terrible dieter…
    Option #Me: Scarf down all the eclairs in one night (“Because they’re delicious and I don’t want them to go to waste.”), rationalizing that one, quick eclair-binge will hurt my diet less than one eclair each night until they’re gone. Then, begin again the procrastinator’s diet… tomorrow. 😂😅

    But seriously- it’s great to hear the WHOLE backstory, with all the details. *enraptured* AWESOME!!! Thanks for sharing (as always)!
    You encourage and inspire me. ❤️

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