Why?

Revelation 1:8 “The Master declares, “I’m A to Z. I’m The God Who Is, The God Who Was, and The God About to Arrive. I’m the Sovereign-Strong.”

Stupid question: have you ever had background music playing and a song you’ve heard a millions times comes on and a phrase grabs your heart and the meaning sings directly to your soul? Suddenly, you find your face is leaking and in your mind you wonder,”When did they put that in there?”

This morning I was on a mission: things to do, a contractor coming in, getting ready for work, pups to care for, I spent my daily morning time with Heavenly Dad but coffee time requires sacrifice and I had no time to spare.

After my time in Wisdom Hunters I get my praise on and listen to music. I was finishing up packing my lunch in the kitchen when a phrase wafted from the living room,”I’ll never know how much it cost to see my sins upon that cross…” I caught my breath and started getting that tingly feeling behind my eyes: truth. Suddenly, I had time for coffee.

I grabbed my cup-o-joe and headed to the living room. I carefully sat in the corner of the sofa, curling my legs underneath me. With the mug securely in both hands, fingers crossed beneath the handle, I asked,”Heavenly Dad, why did you do it?”

“Kiddo, you have a lot of stuff going on in your head. If I answer, you may get confused. Focus on what you really want to know,” He replied as the squeaking rocking chair swayed gently.

I focused for a few moments sipping my brew. The birds were awake and singing outside and my fury kids were noisily circling in their kennel, settling in for a nap.

“Bottom line of my jumbled thoughts and feelings about the ‘cost of the cross’: You sent Your son, part of yourself, for people who physically emotionally and verbally abused you, ignored you, lied about you and accused you, your entire life, of being a liar and fraud.

You kept your cool (I can so relate to the temple incident), walked on water, healed people, fed thousands, cast out demons, for crying out loud, and still…nothing. No respect, no ‘thank you’ from the people of power, no recognition for anything! What the heck?!?!

Now you put us here to help others, giving us everything to meet all our needs—IF WE WOULD JUST SHARE—and people complain that you are uncaring, cold and judgmental.

So, now my question: why the heck did you waste your time? You deserve better than an ungrateful lot of people, me included, that are so focused on ourselves we often forget we are an important cog, created to help the Grand Design run smoothly. We all want to be our own engines, motors, hard drives(is that even right???), so we can run our little peace of the masterpiece and complain about the way everyone else runs theirs. WHY do that to Yourself?”

His eyes were soft and His presence relaxed. “What would you NOT do for YOUR child? Wouldn’t You sacrifice all you had, including your own life, even if that meant excruciating pain, to save them from death?”

The “Yes! Anything!” was just about to fly out of my mouth but something got caught in my throat, so I paused. Watching Him rock, I quietly lifted my mug and sipped my brew. A few cars buzzed by the front of the house and I could hear children on their way to the bus stop.

“But Dad, she’s my child and yes, I would do anything for her, no matter what. My heart hurts for your sacrifice and when so many know what you’ve done, the ultimate sacrifice you made, but don’t acknowledge You or it. Why sacrifice so much…for nothing? You gave Your all to save them and they don’t want to be saved. How is that right?”

He grinned and picked up His instruction book. “Do you remember the story of Abraham, Lot, and Sod’om and Gomor’rah,” flipping to Genesis 18? “I was going to destroy the entire sinful area but out of love and compassion, as requested by Abraham, I agreed to save it if there were 50 righteous people found. You remember what a wheel and dealer Abraham was. He kept talking. I was doing my best not to laugh (like when a two year old does something reeeeally naughty but they are so cute it’s hard not to laugh) because of the anger for their choices and I was full of wrath…but then there was humble Abraham, asking out of selfless concern for others. He was precious in my sight and I agreed that if 10 were righteous, I would spare the city. You know the unhappy ending to that story.

All of that is to say, I don’t want even one of My perfectly designed children to die and would and have done everything in my power to rescue them from eternal death. I love and adore each of my creations. I did not create them as robots, demanding love and respect back. You do not, nor can you, put those expectations on Taylor and Kristian, anymore than I want that for my kids. You want your kids to choose to love you, but it has to be their choice.

Tracy, I appreciate your love for me and I love you dearly. I can also feel that you are still dealing with the walls of loss and self protection. In your mind, you think that if I hadn’t ‘bothered’ to make all of you kids I could have prevented the pain of rejection from them. What about all of the joys they have brought and we have shared? Creating and allowing love is a risk but the benefits outweigh the heartaches.

My question for you: what are you rejecting out of self protection?”

I sat quietly and my stomach hurt. He was right. I don’t ever want to go through the pain of loosing Arch again.

He continued,”Now, off to work with you! You know I am with you; don’t be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will surely help you; I will hold you with my righteous strong hand.” Isaiah 41:10

As for all of your millions/billions of siblings, they aren’t for you to worry about, or judge. You do what I have created you to do and let me take care of them. I love you.” He stood up, headed for the door and winked as he says, “l’ll join you for karaoke in the car in 10.”

And that ends another coffee time with Heavenly Dad.

Until next time: Blessings!

Author: Tracy Cook

Widowed one week before our 27th wedding anniversary, Heavenly Dad continues to carry me, now blessing me with a second chance for love.

2 thoughts on “Why?”

  1. I LOVE Isaiah 41:10, and I especially love the imagery in verse 13 too:

    “For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.”
    ‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭41:13‬

    Makes me feel like a small child- safe, guided, cared for, and directed, without care or worry, under the guardianship of my Big, Strong Heavenly Daddy. ❤️

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