End of One to Begin Again

Romans 16:17 “I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them.”

I step into the shadow after feeling the scorching heat from the Son. “Was this meant for me?” I am staring at the ground as if expecting it to open up and swallow me for my transgressions.

The end of the year is days away and I am taking time to sit with Heavenly Dad and reflect with Him on how it went and how am I doing, now.

Early last year was the  beginning of the end of holding on to the tandum life Archie and I had created together. Though I was on what felt like a sinking ship, I held on to the “stuff” of that life, as the waves pounded, breaking my hull. The water poured in, bills from and the maintenance of the family house I was living in, while I was in constant exhaustion. I was working like crazy just to maintain the stuff/hold on to the cargo of my ship going no where but down. I needed a miracle.

The Gift of the Cat House:

When I read this verse this morning it reminded me of the folks that showed up to look at the Cat house. When they had seen what they wanted to see, I was told I was too old, a woman, and worked too much. If I chose to do this, I deserved no help from anyone. When they were done (yes, after they said these things, as I sat quietly), they asked what I was thinking. I explained the plan in my head (HD had been working with me on this). Immediately, they told me I should make a full price offer and waive inspections—pointing out, they were not offering to help.      That is exactly what I did and where my 2018 began.

Side note:

After the thought of those individuals flashed before my eyes, I decided to try looking in my own mirror. What I saw was their reflection in my own eyes. Heavenly Dad was standing behind me in the glass mouthing the words,”Daughter, as you judge, you are judged. Girl, you’ve got a long way to go.”

Focusing:

Because of the severity of the state the house was in (the bathroom was studs and a tub, the kitchen an unfinished drywalled room, it would be months before I had the opportunity to severe the ties to the house of my former dreams. In March then April I let go and journeyed to the Cat house where my adventure with the Siloam warriors knew no bounds.

The miracle of Grace and the Siloam warriors has been documented time and again through out this last year. I am still in awe of the way Heavenly Dad used these amazing people as the coast  guard, to support me, reassuring me that it was ok to let go of the ship that was dragging me down, pulling me to safety then delivering me to the smaller and more manageable vessel they helped me build. Though the bottle breaking is still a ways off, I am grateful every time I come home.

In the song, Confident,  a lyric states,” You lift my head so I can see all of heaven surrounding me…” Heavenly Dad used the church of Siloam to do just that.

In June the unexpected happened! My one and only daughter, Taylor, was engaged! Two and a half months of crazy planning, the selfless store, Cafe Crop, who showered me with love and gave me a focus to complete the task and on August 25, I gained a son, Kristian Eicher.

A personal adventure begins:

After selling the family home, still somewhat camping in the Cat house (no running water in the kitchen until October), Heavenly Dad opened the door in a weird way for (hopefully) extra income. This has required tight budgeting, time management (I still stink at that), hired help, drywall and plumbing practice,  but more than anything…me to dream again. December 31, 2018 is when the expected date for me to turn over the keys of the tiny house I purchased (super tiny) to a tenant. I’m trying my hand at juggling yet a new challenge. This time, the dream is mine, alone.

As for what Heavenly Dad has next? All I can say is this has been a lifetime of change in a single year. Thank you for listening. The Cat house is very quiet when I get home and the sound of my voice bounces off the empty walls. YOU have been who I have looked forward to chatting with and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Until next year: Blessings!

Author: Tracy Cook

Widowed one week before our 27th wedding anniversary, Heavenly Dad continues to carry me, now blessing me with a second chance for love.

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