Spew-inators (Yes, I made that up)

  • But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Therefore you did not desert them. Nehemiah 9:17

If Heavenly Dad isn’t willing to give up, neither am I.

This week I had the opportunity to spend time with my two favorite people, my daughter and son-in-law-to-be. They needed some engagement pictures and one of my passions is photography (how handy is that?).

They were very willing subjects and the pictures pretty much took themselves. My job was to push the button (and try not to shake-stinks getting old) to capture the short stories they were sharing in the way they acted, reacted, and looked at each other. It was a sweet time with lots of memories and laughter that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

The pictures have been edited, distributed, book is complete and now it’s time to refocus.

Heavenly Dad was sharing His concern for grace in my life—toward myself. As I’m getting older I am noticing how more often than not, individuals are loosing their “filters.” What I see, and feel, is that how we feel comes out of our mouths, and often with hurtful tones and finger pointing. If we are hurting, we want everyone to hurt, or at least feel our pain first hand. Broken people are walking around breaking other people, maybe without even realizing.

I have learned my strongest personality trait is passive and compassionate. What that means is: I’m an easy target. I absorb the negativity when other’s expectations are not met and take it as if it were a personal failure. THAT is not what Heavenly Dad had in mind when He created me: a whipping post for those who need to take out their frustrations.

What do I do? How do I change? It’s a personality issue so it’s my “default,” for crying out loud!

Heavenly Dad says that’s not an excuse. His intention was not for me to love others only to hate myself. When others “spew” their yuck I need to recognize it is THEIR unmet expectations and I was not created for their approval, but Heavenly Dad’s. If I focus on pleasing them instead, I am actually worshiping them instead of Him! What?!?!?

Ok, this is just something He is working on with me. I have no answers but to keep my eyes on Him, allow myself more grace and ultimately, forgive myself.

It’s definitely going to be a process(I’ll keep you posted, literally. :o) ).

Until next time: Blessings!

Author: Tracy Cook

Widowed one week before our 27th wedding anniversary, Heavenly Dad continues to carry me, now blessing me with a second chance for love.

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