Door Stopper Effect

Psalms 85:8 “I will listen to what God the LORD says; he promises peace to his people, his faithful servants– but let them not turn to folly.”

I have been hearing a lot about depression. I am not sure whether I am super sensitive because it is in my family, close friends are battling it, or that we all have some of those symptoms.

I also have a better understanding why people self medicate with drugs, food, alcohol or sex–anything to get the crushing weight off of their shoulders. Sometimes it’s not about being “fixed,” but moments of relief.

Lately, I have been watching as, what I would have thought to be the support systems of these individuals, get frustrated with the poor decisions of their “down trodden someone” not thinking clearly, which increases the supporter’s anxiety.

When on the other side of the glass wall, it is hard to watch. The supporter wants to grab the “victim,” place them where they are sure this person would flourish but are frustrated when the individual acts like dead weight. The individual refuses to move into the appropriate (as determined by the supporter) position.

I wonder if people think that of me?


Today as I was sitting at work I heard a “thump.” A little while later, “thump.” Then again, “thump.” Usually I don’t even notice, but today it caught my attention. It was the door hitting the door stop. That happens everyday, several times a day, almost by the hour.

Do you ever feel like a door stop? You are stuck in one spot and all you do is wait to take the brunt of the next _________a person hurls at you without thinking how their actions affect you. I call this the “Door Stopper Effect:” people smash into you without even realizing you are there. Let’s face it, who stops to acknowledge a door stopper?

Opening a door is necessary, but with how much thrust do I have use to open a door? Or, for that matter, do I hold onto the door when I open or close it or do I just give it a shove because I know the stopper will work. I have no worries about holes in the walls, because of that stopper. I act (open or close the door) without thinking.

How many people do I treat like door stoppers? I act without consideration  of how my actions will affect others. Does the way I treat them look like I am going through the motions? I say things without a filter or maybe in a tone that could have been more respectful. How many door stoppers am I not even noticing?

Some door stoppers feel like they are being struck constantly and are waiting for that next thump without any hope that the thumps will ever stop. They battle a silent depression when the world just views them as doing their job as a door stopper?

What an inconsiderate, self absorbed, individual am I who is so caught up in proceeding through that next door, to attain that next ______, I have forgotten to take into consideration the effect of my thoughtless disregard of how my actions/moods/work ethic affects those around me. How sad for me.

Sometimes the Door Stoppers decide they have had enough and push back, making choices of folly, and their support system, instead of taking the actions of the door into consideration, get angry at the door stopper for not holding their position. All of us doors, the inconsiderate, shortsighted, heavy, crushing individuals, are not blamed, it’s the crushed little door stopper.

How am I doing? Can you relate? Are you a crushing door or a door stopper. Maybe, like me, you are booth.

I’m sorry door stoppers. I’ll make greater efforts to think before I act. Also, I want to encourage you to hold on to what heavenly Dad’s says in His guidebook. He promises peace. When it comes to the decisions of folly: no matter what anyone does to us, we are still accountable for our actions/the way we react to the doors that are thoughtlessly causing us pain.

For you heavy doors, “Hey! I’m down here!”

Until next time (an adventure on the high sea, or at least preparing for one, me thinks): Blessings!

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