The Other Side of Your Bed and Mine

“But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear Him who, after He has killed, has power to cast into hell; yes, I say to you, fear Him” (Luke 12:5)!

This verse got me thinking about how I lovingly fear (a respect thing, like I do my human dad) my heavenly Dad who has the power to “let the end come,” all in His time, but then sends us to our room located in either heaven or hell. Let me get this straight, death isn’t the bad part of the end. It could get worse because: hell is!

In my time with heavenly Dad He continues nudging me about marriage. Sometimes I’d swear His elbow is sharp as a tack! “Dad, why do you keep speaking to me about marriage? It’s not like I can tweak mine?”

“Write it down.”

As soon as I read the verse about the next step after death being hell (which is far worse than just dying), my mind and heart immediately went to the arguments in marriage. Isn’t that weird? You can say yes.

When Archie and my marriage “fell asleep”  and we stopped walking in unison, we were traveling for self.

Do you remember when you were dating? The dudes often kept their apartments, homes, rooms and cars sparkling clean. We girls were always sweet and rarely let little things things like biting fingernails, tapping fingers, weird driving, or other habits of our princes bother us. All of those things were just so darn cute! This is not mentioning the guys that lifted weights in their rooms to impress the ladies and we girls who would fell out of bed early enough to get crunches and/or leg lifts in before we would even consider being seen by our fella’s and we’d always suck in our “guts.”

Then the “I do’s” are said, and often things change. When each person gets immune to the other, there’s no reason to impress anymore, right? Don’t get me wrong, when kids come along time slots definitely change! Buuuuut, is that reason enough to:

dirty clothes are left on the floors of the once perfect apartment or home. Finger tapping is suddenly bad manners and unacceptable in social settings. It’s more than that–you know that. You take each other for granted. Eventually, little digs at each other are made under our breaths as we are walking away. Everyone knows eventually there is going to be a blow up, it’s just a matter of time. “Hey, I can wait.” The fight is inevitable, right? What do you think is going to happen after the argument?

This verse reminded me that in life something horrible happens, death, but it can get worse: going to hell and everlasting pain. It describes some seasons of marriage, as well.

What happens in marriages where things just build, explode, build, explode, build, explode? Divorce? I am a product of that and it is as close to a living hell as I want to go. Then what? Then you start all over again.

(Let me insert here that infidelity and abuse are a completely different story.)

Dude starts lifting weights and keeping his apartment clean, chicks rolls out of be to do crunches and overlooks idiosyncrasies that could be considered annoying. Blah, blah, blah. Only if you have kids, it’s reeeeally hard to begin again, especially if you have full custody. Then you are not only dealing with the start over, but trying to help your kids sort things out.


This is where heavenly Dad’s elbow gets me between the ribs: why not treat everyday like an opportunity to date and impress the one on the other side of your bed? Besides, did you like yourself better as the dude that cleaned up after himself? Did I like myself better as the none nagging person that my hubby wanted to spend time with? Yes.

Like death, fights aren’t to fear, the end: hell/divorce is. So why not avoid the whole mess to begin with, in this life and the life after? Be the person you should be by, as Grief Share says,”Doing the next right thing”, not by letting yourself “slide by” but making the extra effort to make others feel loved and appreciated on a daily basis. I KNOW the other person doesn’t deserve it–shock them! Be who God intended YOU to be and let heavenly Dad deal with the other person. He can get ’em better than you ever could (wink).

The other side of my bed is empty, maybe yours is not. (If it is, maybe we should get together and do crunches :p. I honestly really enjoy doing them and never stopped, so grab an exercise ball and let’s get cracking!) What are you going to do about it?

About your relationship with heavenly Dad: When He sends you to your room, is it going to be upstairs…or down? If you aren’t sure, you can make sure by doing your ABC’s.

Until tomorrow: Blessings!




3 thoughts on “The Other Side of Your Bed and Mine

  1. A lot of changes to go through; all I can do right now is one day at a time. Put it all in God’s hands and listen!

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