Are You Awake?

Therefore, stay awake, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming. Matthew 24:42

Staying awake has not been the problem for the last 9+ months, but the purposefulness behind it? That’s another story… .

Anybody that has followed/walked with me as I moved into “Widowhood,” knows sleep doesn’t like my “block.” Some that grieve sleep all the time, but I am on the other side of “town” from that “district.”

Today in my time with my heavenly Dad they were talking about our walk/relationship being active. They compared it to trying to stay awake all night: you plan activities to keep moving, you don’t drink chamomile tea, soak in a hot bath, dress in your most fuzzy/comfy jammies then crawl into bed with the expectation of staying wide awake. Duh.

My heavenly Dad was whispering to me about my walk with Him but bellowing about marriage. “Ummmm, Dad? I’m not married anymore… .”

“No, but you were and this is close to your heart. Write it down.”

Sooooo…here I am, fury kids pottied (twice), coffee in hand, and this funky burden in my heart. Here it goes:

Marriage is stinking hard. It’s awesome when you marry your very best friend. Do you remember what dating was like? I will never forget the first time Arch and I got together…

An abbreviated (quick, since you’ve heard it before) version of Archie and I’s first night of “hanging out”: My blended family was embarking on the family counseling journey but the counselor told me I was not to come.  My stepfather would not allow me a key to his house, so my mom said I needed to find someplace to go. Archie overheard me telling a girl at the new school. Since he only lived about .5 miles from the school, he invited me to hang with him at his house. I had no place else to go… .

It was nearing dark when I arrived at the driveway to Archie’s house. It was a cut path through to the woods, completely surrounded by brush. Whooping willow birds (at least that’s what Archie called them) were alerting the world that a stranger had arrived. Did I mention the driveway was long? No, REEEEEEALy long. I was creeping along…and creeping along…and creeping along…still no house. THAT’S IT! I popped my Astre in reverse and was backing up as quickly as I possibly could. As soon as I reached the road I turned forward to make sure I could make the curve. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Some dude was running towards me waving his arms frantically!!! again: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! JUST as I was accelerating to back into the road…I heard Archie’s voice. HE was the one frantically chasing me down the driveway. When he approached my window he was all smiles,”Hey! You were almost there!” He jumped into the passenger side and we returned back down the driveway (I had been about two car lengths away from seeing his house 🙂 ).

I met his mom, stepdad, little sister, and two brothers. We just hung out then he walked me to the car. That was how our fairy tale began:”Once upon a time, down a looooooong driveway, lived a boy from New York.”

You maybe asking,”What does that have to do with the staying awake verses falling a sleep?”

Arch and I dated for 13 months before we said our “I do’s” (ages 18 and 19–way too young). We talked for hours on the phone and in person–one time running my car out of gas because it was winter and we’d talk in the car to stay warm. Dating was movies and pizza every Friday night. The reason we got married is an entirely different story of step dad telling me I was no longer welcome is his home because I had graduated from high school, my mom yelling at him to “get out of the car, ” all while sitting in the parking lot of Liberty University. Good times.

For Archie and I it was either get married or break up because I was leaving. He made the decision.

Being that young and with out really good examples, our relationship after the wedding…fell asleep. We got comfortable with each other (I call it immune) and were living two separate lives, simultaneously. We’d work, home, eat, then he’d go ballin’ until 10 or 11 pm. I got a second job to fill in the gap. Ho Hum, zzzzzzzzzz. A couple of years later we were wondering,”How the heck did we get here?” We were alsleep.

Was that either one of our dreams? No. We forgot that for our marriage to “stay awake” we needed to be active, not get comfortable and “hope” we’d have a happily ever after. Happily ever after isn’t in the destination, it’s in the journey. It’s in the memories that are made exploring, building, and relying/helping each other reach the top of mountains, or lending a hand out of a valley. No fuzzy slippers needed. Coffee, not chamomile tea :).

Though the last year was a mess, and my heavenly Dad decided Archie’s reservation for paradise had come, before that…we were living our marriage wide awake.

The same rings true in our walk with our heavenly Dad. He’s not saying, once you know him, get comfortable until the end. Get up and get moving. Make a difference and make memories. The conductor to take your ticket to paradise might be just around the corner.

Have a great weekend and I will “see” you on Monday: Blessings!

 

Author: Tracy Cook

Widowed one week before our 27th wedding anniversary, Heavenly Dad continues to carry me, now blessing me with a second chance for love.

4 thoughts on “Are You Awake?”

  1. Thank you for that Sis! You will always be a part of this family; I know you didn’t feel it in the past and I can’t make up for that; buy you know now(hopefully) that we Love you & Taylor so much!! As for me, you will always be my connection to Archie! As I keep saying “FAMILY” Love you Sis!

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