To him who led his people through the wilderness, for his steadfast love endures forever. Psalms 136:16
a (1) : a tract or region uncultivated and uninhabited by human beings (2) : an area essentially undisturbed by human activity together with its naturally developed life communityb : an empty or pathless area or region †1960>c : a part of a garden devoted to wild growth
2obsolete : wild or uncultivated state
3a : a confusing multitude or mass : an indefinitely great number or quantity <I would not have given it for a wilderness of monkeys — Shakespeare>b : a bewildering situation <those moral wildernesses of civilized life — Norman Mailer>
I feel like I am in the middle of a wilderness. I think there is a growing condo community here…are you my neighbor?
Today in my time with “Dad” He was talking to me about my unmet expectations or dreams. We all have them, it’s a human norm. The world says:
“Follow your dreams!” Live the life you’ve always imagined!” “You can only achieve your dreams when you begin believing in yourself,” and on and on.
All wonderful, inspiring sayings that help us get out of bed and reach for something. But for some, their dreams will never be attained and for others the dream will be obtained only to disappear or crash in on them.
He was talking about some dreams that we might, as Dani Johnson would say,”Turn problems into tasks” and step our way into those dreams. Other dreams are based on other people: getting married, having kids, and having a loving a supporting family (when yours is not). That’s where the rub is: you cannot make people love you, wish yourself into pregnancy/keeping a pregnancy, or make your family prioritize you.
“Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” Deuteronomy 8:2-3
Wow…according to this God allowed them to walk in the desert for 40 years to humble and test them, to know what was in their heart. He then gave them amazing manna, that they never knew existed. The wilderness was where they grew closest to our heavenly Dad and completely relied on Him for everything they needed, even the food they put in their mouths each day with the what Exodus describes as, “like wafers that had been made with honey.” Can you imagine the sweet perfection of a food given directly from God?!?!?! Was that good enough for these people? No. They later grew tired of this provision and complained. Sad.
Self reflection: What is in my heart? Yikes! Do I really want to know? Am I in my wilderness because my heavenly Dad is taking away everything I relied on so I can see the only thing really holding me up…is Him?
Am I truly grateful for His moment by moment provision? WARNING: Am I focusing on what HE KNOWS I need instead of what I think I need (then complain about what He has already put in my hand). Ugh! I can soooo see myself doing that!!! BUT WAIT! I don’t think I have done that YET. Maybe there is hope! Could I possibly be learning in my wilderness desert?
I still fail so much. I have no idea why He puts up with me. Back up (literally, to the first verse). That would be enduring love :).
At the end of their 40 year desert walk, the children of Israel reached their promised land. I don’t know whether for me that would be here on earth or in heaven, but which ever He chooses, I know that I know that I know, it will turn out ok in the end. Do you?
Until tomorrow: Blessings!