Surprise Squared

Sometimes surprises just don’t stop!

This journey we are on is never dull. I remember I used to think it was (like 25 years ago). It felt like we went to work, came home, ate, watched TV, grunted a few sentences to each other, went to bed, then got up and did it again. That didn’t last long as Archie used to ball a lot in those days, so I took a second job to fill the gap.

The weekend before Taylor was born was Archie’s first spastic colon attack. At the ER they diagnosed it as a kidney stone, but later, it was diagnosed correctly. It hasn’t been dull since. Dull was good, very, very good. Now we would know better than to watch other people live life (ie, watch TV) and turn it off to create memories of our own (we got ride of cable 9+ years ago–no regrets, except basketball season 🙁 ).

Now life is never dull. A couple of weeks ago I was surprised by a gift from a Sunday School Class at church. I weigh out carefully where my pennies go so, since this was not earmarked for a bill, I used it for something special! A trip to the eye doctor. Ok, so not the bells and whistles that you may have expected, but when you feel like you need windshield wipers for the floaties in your eyes, and the blurry streak down the middle, the eye doctor is right up there with Disney World!

There’s where the plural, “surprises,” comes in. The surprise came with the shadow(s) on my retina. Good news! He didn’t charge me for visit #1!!!! Hey, I am grateful for EVERYTHING. Bad news: more testing to come. Good news! It’s only one eye! Let’s not dwell on anything bad…let’s move on.

This eye dr had just seen Archie last fall, right before his diagnoses and goes to our church. He and I chatted for a while. He told me he had been praying for us, but he had just started and then Arch was gone. My eyes leaked a couple of times during that eye appointment. Good news! I was not experiencing “dry eye” at those particular moments. Again…seeking the good and sometimes I have to dig very deep.

I was planning on taking a prescription over and use my Groupon coupon to purchase glasses, but now that was not necessary–yet. My heavenly Dad is awesome so who knows what He’ll decide to do with this.

As I was driving away I was feeling very raw. I felt kind of bad for the doctor, to be honest. I feel like a person that has had all of their skin ripped off of their being. When I go out I cover myself with gauze, paint pretty pictures on the out side, trusting my heavenly Dad is helping me grow skin from the inside out.

Sometimes when situations arise that I have not prepared for, my gauze slips. Life…stings and burns, and my face leaks. Try as I might, I cannot get the bandage back into place. Those situations are fewer now. I try to mentally prep for outings (lots of tape on the bandages) and I thought I had a thin layer of skin developing. Evidently, it is not as thick as I thought, or it has not grown in that spot.

Maybe it’s because it involves sight, which I need to work my current occupation. Thankfully it is just a single eye and in all honesty, given the choice of sight and having Arch, I’d pick Arch hands down. And…that’s probably the majority of it. Nothing, especially questionable/bads news was real until we told each other. When we would tell the other, half of the burden was lifted because the other person carried it and we “would do this together.” Now there’s no we.

We were each other’s eyes, ears…heart.

Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

I use this verse frequently. I am not alone. So I put one foot in front of the other and go about the tasks He has set before me (boy howdy, there’s a lot of them), and deal with whatever is a head as it comes, since He’s never promised me a tomorrow.

James 4:14 “The reality is you have no idea where your life will take you tomorrow. You are like a mist that appears one moment and then vanishes another.”

So…why waste the energy on worrying?

Matthew 6:34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”

Isn’t that the truth?

Until tomorrow: Make the most of today you possibly can! Blessings!




6 thoughts on “Surprise Squared

  1. Bandaging up when you go out would be a natural instinct, and who wants to be vurnable, right? I feel that’s where healing can take place and where divine appt are. For you and others. I’m not saying to go out with a gaping hole the size of a truck, but to be open to the Holy Spirit. If others see your pain and a tear 😢 or two it’s ok. Your shared journey eases their own pain some and a seed of compassion for others starts growing. It’s what this world 🌎 is all about, isn’t it? Shared love and pain. I guess I’m also speaking to myself. I hope this makes sense.

    1. Too bad I couldn’t paste some of those beautiful pictures with your verses on them over the bandages! Then people wouldn’t even notice me, they’d be awed by God’s amazing handiwork (through you!).

  2. Praying for your eye situation … fully believe as you do that there’s no sense in worrying. Doesn’t make it easy not to though. Keep us apprised about the eye. This one tugged at my heart strings … pretty hard. Hugs and prayers – always.

    1. The weird thing is that I feel guilty about not worrying. It’s like darned if I do, darned if I don’t. Living in this world is difficult. I feel like I am not living up to some expectation that someone out there has for me when there’s only ONE expectation that even matters. Thank you for the continued prayers. We need them!

  3. You shouldn’t feel guilty about worrying….you are letting no-one down, you are a human being with feelings! I hope and pray that everything turns out ok with your eye tests….please keep us posted.
    I love you with all my heart Tracy and I’m here if you need me. ❤

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