Meaning isn’t something you find, it’s something you give.

Daniel 3:16 " the God we serve can rescue us..." "Can" doesn't mean "will." One week ago I was in yet another valley. Grief sucks. It is what it is and that is part of the journey. It doesn't mean I don't have faith, it means I'm human, and my heavenly Dad wouldn't want it any other way. He didn't create Adam and Eve the robots, commanded at will, He created Adam and Eve, the individuals, with...

Nothing

I've got nothing. Taylor and I did what felt like a bunch of firsts this weekend. First house in Archie and my collection I bought (because it literally had my name on it, even spelled right) that he hasn't seen (I cried like a baby), first time to our family's favorite restaurant, first chocolate chip frappe from McyD's without Archie (we'd always split one), first time picking out eye glasses...

Imitators and Crazy Faith

Today in my time with my heavenly Dad He was talking to me about being an imitator but not a cheap imitation...so, how does crazy faith play into that? I love the reminder about getting my act together. As I was getting ready to close my computer down I decided to check my e-mail. An advertisement from the Christian Bookstore caught my eye. I haven't bought a book, except from the Depot, in...

The Right Tool for the Job

Scarves and boots, isn't that the way everyone dresses to go into the attached garage? Two years ago our door went cock-eyed to the garage. We tried rubber seals, adjusting the latches, and hinges. Archie and I finally said "uncle" and bought a new door last year. Well, you know the ending of that story. Snow continued to blow into the garage as the new door quietly stood against the wall. Winter...

Perspective

Crying during a television series? Sometimes I think I need to get a grip. As you know, our family of three RARELY watched network television. We haven't had cable in nine or more years, and the networks available in our area just don't "do" anything for us. If there is a series we like, we don't want to be caught in the "have to watch blah, blah, blah, on such-and-such a night. TV series on dvd...

Past Influencing Today’s Judgment

Today I am getting out the wire brush, Brillo pad, and bleach for my soul. It's as if my soul is this room with a pretty wood arched carved door,  dusty black iron hinges, and a sliding bar with a ring for a door handle. It's time to open that door because there is something unhealthy in there. In my time with my heavenly Dad He was talking about the rules of knowing him (putting Him in a box)...

Inevitable Pain: Now or Later?

Archie's tree is changing color, the mums we got a couple of weeks ago are in full bloom, we had our first frost at our house, and the apples are ready for picking at the orchard. A choice has to be made... . This morning was the first Saturday I did not have appointments scheduled. I did not sleep in. After taking care of the fury kids, I tucked them back in then retreated to bed. The journey...

8 Month Anniversay

Eight months ago Archie went home. A month or so ago one of my coworkers asked if I'd like to meet. She's walked a similar path but is now married. We met in a 50s-esk dinner and ended up holding up the booth for a good two and a half hours. The pie was amazing, I must say, not to mention the company. Last week she texted me and asked if I'd like to get together again. The next time I saw her we...

Anger and Guilt

I made it through. Last night was the Grief Share that I got up and walked out of the last go round. I could not do it. It was about guilt and anger. I had more than A LOT of anger last time. The guilt thing, not so much. I don't know how I could have changed anything. They asked if we questioned the circumstances around our loved ones death,"If only I would have: taken them to a different...

Comfort on the Horizon

I did the unthinkable: I drank Archie's Dr Pepper 10. Archie's favorite pop/soda was Dr Pepper. When he decided to cut down on his carbs, he switched to Dr Pepper 10, which was advertised as a, "man's drink." He loved it, but cut all of that out when cancer was diagnosed. It's been sitting in my cabinet since December. I haven't had the heart to do anything with it. That's where my life has...