The Victim

The end of the trip to Schaumburg. I hope it went well. I enjoyed teaching, two hours of cleanup, inventory, and packing, then to the show floor to help tear down the show booth for another 1.5 hours. Just when we finished and were waiting for them to grab our pallets, “Beat It” by Michael Jackson echoed over the intercom.

Anyone that truly knew Arch knew Michael Jackson was his favorite artist of all times. He mimicked him like no one else I had ever seen, mirroring his singing and dancing.

Archie and I had our “dreams” for our future. The one we were most excited about was to someday work for Heartfelt as one of their traveling teams, preferring the driving over the flying team. Here I was on the floor, with the driving team, in the middle of this awesome nearly empty convention center, in our favorite city, and Michael Jackson was serenading me. I caught my breath. “Seriously Dad? Did we not just have a detailed conversation last night about the emptiness? Were you not listening?” Remember a couple of days ago when I said I needed to “shut up?” Bingo.

When I was having my time with Him today He was talking to me about having a non-victim mind set. In reflecting on my feelings, standing in the remnant of what was a dream of Arch and mine, I was feeling like a victim.

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  Romans 8:37

I lost sight of the joy I had just experienced over the previous two days, teaching and meeting existing and new Heartfelt family. Archie is safe, pain free and in paradise. My focus is now to be on Taylor and those that God has allowed me to lend an ear, encourage, help to teach an outlet for frustration and ultimately, pray.

I spoke to one dear lady whose husband had just succumbed to cancer in June. His diagnoses, 2.5 years earlier, was that he had 3-4 months to live. They were thrilled for the extra 2+ years.

I spoke with a two time kidney transplant recipient, telling me how her kidneys failed after the birth of her second child then again 3 years later. She explained her journey and the agony of the end of her marriage because of it.

The lovely lady who just learned to shape flowers and is going to try to sneak them into her son’s scrapbook ;). How she and her hubby were both only children, their one son is adopted and the guilt that they could not give him a sibling.

One small business owner is barely scrapping by, loves Heartfelt and was overjoyed to hear that we might be able to help.

How selfish of me. Today He reminded me I was focusing on myself instead of looking at Him and all the people He had brought into my life. All I could see was the one I was missing instead of the multitude that surrounded me. Archie cannot be replaced, but he’s not coming back. My nugget from Wisdom Hunters was that I needed to turn my, “discussions from the depths of despair to the heights of hope.”

He ended with a song He gave me in my emptiness last night:

Until tomorrow dear friend: Blessings





One thought on “The Victim

  1. Aunt Tracy, you continue to amaze, encourage, and inspire me every day! Thank you for your teachable spirit, your humble vulnerability, and your strong determination expressed in sharing your toughest struggle. Truly, you are biblically lighting the way of hope for all the various struggles your readers are facing and will someday face. Thank you!!!

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