Today when I was out and about, one of God’s little boy’s came up, flopped himself across the table next to me, looking at me with crystal blue eyes and asked with sincerity,”Do you still miss Archie?”
Without missing a beat, I smile and said,”Everyday…everyday.” Then there was a long pause…………….”Really?”
I explained,”Taylor and I see things each day and say,’Dad(or Archie) would have loved this.’ Also, (I know his parents) when your mom and dad go to bed at night, they don’t just go to bed and fall asleep. They lay there and talk about their day. Archie and I used to do that, but now it’s quiet each night when I go to bed. I miss Archie everyday, but especially every night.” Another long pause………..”Ohhhhhhhhh.” He had his answer so off he went. I smiled again knowing he couldn’t understand, but thought that it was lovely that he tried.
Today in my time with my Heavenly Dad He was speaking about unquenchable love, not the easiest subject for a widow. He was also covering those that were divorced, never married, or had a love that the love is gone, so technically I was covered.
I liked the way He was focusing on when you don’t feel the love, or feel like loving. I was thinking about that this week. My parents are divorced, as many of yours or maybe you are. I saw from close proximity, what it looked like when the evidence of love was no where to be found and then the relationship wasn’t either.
I think every married couple goes through periods when you cannot for the life of you figure out why you married the person you did. “They are so selfish! They are never here! They’re always out with the fellas or gals! They don’t do anything when they come home! They spend the money before I even make it! They leave all the child responsibilities to me, but they are their kids, too! They treat everybody better than me and I get whatever is left–and that isn’t much! They’ve changed–this is not the person I married. I’ve changed and we’ve grown apart.” If you are married, do any of those sound familiar?
Sometimes those periods last years, maybe decades. This reminded me of a speaker Arch and I heard at a marriage retreat. Yep, I still consider these an amazing way to ‘kick the tires’ and keep your marriage fresh–not that I can do that anymore–wouldn’t that be awkward?!?! Or…maybe not. (SPIDER WEB) Maybe the couples there would stop taking their marriages for granted with the realization it could end so abruptly. That’s a thought: parade a bunch of widows and widowers in front of couples and say,”This could be you. Which would you rather, work with what you’ve got or never have the chance to regain the love of when you first said ‘I do?'”
ANYWAY, this speaker said he wasn’t buff or anything but tried to go to the gym a couple of times a week so he could be healthy and be the best for his wife he could be. One day he walked in and met an old friend he hadn’t seen in some time. He was shocked and immediately struck up conversation. After some shallow small talk the “how is your wife” question came up. The guy looked away as he explained they were divorced. He was there to get back in shape and meet some new people. The speaker looked at the dude and asked,”Why did you wait until after the divorce? Why didn’t you do it to impress your wife?” Sputter, sputter, sputter.
Long story short: he and his wife renewed their vows. After counseling he realized he had taken his wife and himself for granted, never giving either 100%.
I think about God’s little boy. To him, he sees couples marry, break up, then go again, so why haven’t I? But love isn’t a feeling, it’s a choice. Every moment of everyday, even in anger, a person has to choose love over every other emotion or feeling and trust or have faith that someday the feelings will follow. That’s the unquenchable love, my Heavenly Dad was talking about. The love that cannot be washed away with the storms of life.
He got kinda quiet after that so I guess that must have covered it for the moment. There, you have another day of being a fly on my wall.
Until Monday: Blessings!