Taylor came out of her apartment hugging something. “Mom, this is for your office.”
This journey we are on is consuming. The most difficult thing for me everyday is not to focus on the fact that Archie isn’t here. I could stare at that emptiness all day. Some days I do allow myself to reflect back on what I “would have” been doing if Archie were here.
We get up, have our coffee and start the day with the sunrise, the weight of the previous day is gone. Life is as good as it gets, until we walk out the door. Then we both keep busy as we love our jobs, running here and there helping everyone we can possibly help, and sharing our passions: her’s for the ministry of the Depot, mine for helping to make the world become a more beautiful place from the refection of the healing taking place through paper crafting. Then we come home.
There is a lingering emptiness but a comfort in knowing we battled the world as a family of three, from inside these walls. It’s our fort, and honestly, our prison. We don’t want to or have the energy to leave once we are here, but almost dread coming back when we are away, knowing the missing piece is not awaiting our return. Once inside those walls, all energy drains away. How does one deal with that?
That’s where the dancing came in. As you know, Taylor and her bff decided to take dance lessons and they let me tag along.
Taylor and I both agree it was a love/hate thing. We both loved to dance and get some exercise, but neither liked to drag ourselves out of the house. We don’t have to fight that inner battle anymore as the lessons ended last week with a cancellation, due to heat. What now?
Taylor spins the package around to reveal a sign:
Archie and I were used to dancing in storms. As long as I was in his arms I couldn’t really feel the gust of the wind, just the pouring rain. Things are different now…
I guess this means my lessons will continue only without the teacher or dance partner. This storm is going to be here for a while. We’d best get back out our dancing shoes and warm up.
and then I remember what was… .
Until tomorrow: Blessings