The Count Down

It was almost time for  lunch! A little over an hour ago I was wishing it were lunch, as my stomach was ready. Kathy, my new office buddy, suggested I go ahead and eat something but lunch was half an hour away. Then I’d have longer than a 2.5 hour hump til break. If there’s one thing this girl likes to do is not miss a snack so, nooooo….I’ll be good. 29 minutes and counting, 28, 27…

Ten minutes to go and “Lisa” calls. Lisa just found us at a craft show and fell in love. She has two grown children and is handicapped. She had all kinds of questions about our products, accessories, shapes of flowers, and tools used. She e-mailed me a picture of her very first paper flower during our 40 minute conversation.

She shared about her kids and how they support her (even in this new adventure 🙂 ). By the time we got off the phone, the conversation that started with,”I’m a brand new customer, but I’m not very happy right now,” ended with a new friend that is excited about learning more and is now confident in her new tools.  She didn’t spend a dime, but hopefully felt that she hung up with a truck load of education. YEAH! A new member of the family has been born. It’s a girl :).

Another day at Heartfelt Creations :). I love my job.

Oh! Wait! Lunch! Did you ever notice that when you are waiting for things to happen, a big event, time goes reeeeeeeally slowly. Then, something happens and your focus is taken off of the waiting and the next thing you know, big event time! Even if the “big event” is lunch ;). Hey, a girl has to eat.

For me, lunch was over, well, technically delayed, but I really didn’t miss it. Lisa had so many questions. Dissecting the explanations into bite sized pieces and explaining with word pictures was like listening to a baby grow into a toddler over the phone line–yeah!

That kind of brings me into my meanderings for the day:

Everyday is a new day, very similar to the one before, but one day farther from my life as a wife. This sounds ridiculous, but the opportunities that come that would be best for a single person, not a married person, brings with it feelings of guilt. Even the three hours tonight I spent on preparations for my Christmas cards, I would not have blocked that time out for such indulgence had I been a married woman. I had the time for that tonight because I couldn’t sleep last night so why not clean until midnight? I wouldn’t have done that being married because (other than I used to sleep better :S), Arch and I would head for bed at the same time. Time wasn’t “his time” and “my time,” it was “our time.”

It’s not just time at home. I do have an opportunity to travel a bit to teach a couple of classes soon. LOVE IT! Had I been married, I would have felt a tug of war in my heart and soul being away from Arch. Not to mention, Taylor has a job that she adores, moves constantly, is talked to all day so she doesn’t feel the need to go-go-go and have lengthy conversations. She feels like her time flies. When she comes home she crashes pretty early. She’s happy that I get to get fill my passion for teaching. Win, win.

It’s not the fairy tale I had pictured as a child. My book was much shorter than I ever would have guessed, with the last chapter written before the sun even began to set. The author had other plans for the prince and princess in my novel.

I now have a new book full of empty pages. I think He’s just beginning the Table of Contents, but not letting me in on what the chapters titles will be because maybe He thinks it would scare me–yikes! I am sure He’s right.

Grief Share kept encouraging to “not make any significant changes for a year,” so that’s my goal. Having that vision is like waiting for my lunch break today: 29, 28, 27, only this is month #4, month #5, and to be honest, what is really going to change at the 1 year mark? It’s not like confetti comes pouring out of the sky, it will just be another “1st” that I will need to get through: the first anniversary of the last time I saw Archie…on our 27th wedding anniversary. So really, what is the accomplishment with “one year???”

The next day, February 20th, 2017, will be the 2nd February 20 that I have spent as a widow. It will be my second Easter as a widow, my second mother’s day and birthday. I will have a better handle on what to expect.

I guess there really is something to be said for that “first” year. Truth: looking forward to another “first day,” when they come everyday stinks. It’s AWESOME when the distractions come, like teaching opportunities, or outings with the 40+ ladies or Taylor, because it takes my focus off of the clock–or calendar–and feels like I have moved a few steps forward without even realizing.

Proverbs 11:25b “whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.”

I think that is one of my favorite pieces of scripture, because I find it so descriptive of my daily walk. Whenever I take my focus off of the count down and turn it on meeting the needs of someone who really needs to be encouraged, I am in turn encouraged. I get far more back than I can EVER give away…and the next thing I know, it’s time to put another “X” on the calendar.

Who new?

Until tomorrow (I’m really sorry about all of my spider webbing today/tonight): Blessings!

2 thoughts on “The Count Down

  1. I especially like your paragraph about the book full of empty pages with no chapter titles yet. What a great way to look at the days ahead! Staying open for the possibilities and the adventure God has for you … “For I know the plans I have for you …” Continuing to pray for you both as the chapter titles get filled in and the pages are written! Love you both!

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