Victory

Organizing + Movies = Tears

Who would have thought?

My house is trying to get more organized, but it’s definitely getting worse before it’s getting better. Arch and I have had various plans of organization and had purchased pieces and parts, didn’t have time to implement them so stored them away, and moved on to the next idea of what neeed to be organized. Ugh. Guess who gets to pull and get them figured out?

3 Days: I’ve got all of the movies out and am trying to get some sort of topic category. Arch was my movie guy. He knew what we had, what the series, names of each release (like Transformers, did you know there were four and they aren’t numbered?!?!? We don’t even want to start on the Hobbit/Lord of the Rings) This is all so confusing. He would keep all of this straight because, to be honest, it wasn’t a priority for me. It made him happy, so I was happy. Now…I look at the pile and cry my way through it. I could google, but honestly, I don’t really care if they are that precise. As long as I have the four together, do they really have to be in release order? If Archie were here–yes. But…he’s…not.

We had our last week of Grief Share this week. To get directly to the point: What now? They said little phrases like,”We aren’t getting ‘over’ anything. We are trying to move forward.” Perfect.

The “catch phrase” that grabbed my heart was,”The worst thing that could possibly have happened, happened…and now it’s over.” Wow. There will be other things, obviously, but that top/largest fear…. .

They suggest we take the class again in fall. We will absorb more the second go round as we will be in a different part of our journey. We’ll see.

For now, I just keep doing the “next right thing,” even when I don’t want to. I keep remembering that I don’t have the right to put my personal feelings over the calling God has on my life. I can’t, purposefully, get in His way of using the time this earth was blessed with Archie or the way He (somehow) wants to use Taylor and I in spite or because of the lessons we are learning through this incredibly stinky situation.

The other heart wrencher was the story of one widow. She had children still at home. She verbalized several times that she couldn’t wait to “go home” and see her hubby. One of her kids said,”Mom, I thought we were supposed to want to go to heaven to see God?” Ouch. I felt that one.

We all say,”Yes, I want to meet Jesus…someday.” Now I’m not suicidal or anything, but if there were a “fast track” ticket, I’d be first in line. After that comment, I realized my focus was completely selfish and sinful. Not a good night…but maybe it was, or will be, when some more healing comes.

1 John 5:4 “For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.”

Faith (according for the Merriam/Webster Dictionary)

  • : strong belief or trust in someone or something

  • : belief in the existence of God : strong religious feelings or beliefs

  • : a system of religious beliefs

    I have faith that my heavenly Dad has a plan. I have faith that He loves me and wants what is the very best for Taylor and me. I have faith that He took Archie home to save him from something worse and to give him peace and healing. I have faith that I will see Archie again, when it is time but for now: I have faith that my heavenly Dad has something for me (and Taylor) to do and I need to complete it before it is my time to go home. I have faith that joy will return as I go about “My Father’s” business, out of obedience, love, and respect.

“Victory that overcomes the world?” If by “the world” means a world of pain, sorrow, and continued grief, I’ll take it.

May you find the victory you need today and everyday.

 

 

 

 

Author: Tracy Cook

Widowed one week before our 27th wedding anniversary, Heavenly Dad continues to carry me, now blessing me with a second chance for love.

One thought on “Victory”

  1. So sorry things are not going well😟 Grief… Such a small word, but very large in it’s meaning. Grief cannot be put in a nice pretty box with a bow, it is so different for so many. I think you have done well. Time is the only cure, and sometimes it takes a very long process. You are such a wonderful writer, you should really put this in a book. There are so many people out there that could benefit from you.
    Prayers always

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