Role Reversal

Do you remember when you first started to drive? Before cell phones parents would say,”Call when you get there,” so they would know you reached whatever destination you were driving. After cell phones it was,”call if you stop for gas, if there’s a train, when you get there, if you’re going to be late, if your plans change, blah, blah, blah.” A parent’s mind was much more at ease.

In our house, the rolls have reversed…. .

Taylor has come to the realization that I am the “top of her food chain.” My Dad and Archie’s mom are both still alive, but she rarely sees them. She grew up seeing my mom and my grandmother on a regular basis. They have both gone, and she misses them, especially my mom, very much. Before Gary, my mom’s hubby/my stepdad retired, during the summer she would spend every Friday with Grandma Susie. We would meet for breakfast at Bob Evans. Taylor would get biscuits and gravy, my mom broccoli and one egg over easy, my-one egg over easy, then my mom would steal Taylor away to hit 3 or 4 Goodwills and maybe get Chinese, to split, for lunch. Sometimes she’d spend the night and Grandma would let her do her hair while Grandpa Gary watched the Cardinals on TV. Then she and Grandpa Gary would have ice cream before bed. One time she stayed for a Sunday that we hadn’t planned for so Grandma Susie pulled an all nighter and made Taylor a dress to wear for church and to the nursing home where Grandma and Grandpa Gary sang and Grandpa Gary gave the message. The elderly loved when Taylor would come to service.

Now Grandma is gone. Grandpa Gary has since married a wonderful woman by the name of Carol. Carol has given Taylor amazing counsel over the last year, and Taylor is most appreciative.

Taylor has Grandma’s blood and realizes that Grandma Susie passed away very young, 64. Now Taylor has lost her dad at 46, and that leaves….me. She had to write down emergency contacts. No grandparents in the area. She has no siblings. No first cousins in the area. No aunts and uncles, either. Some greats….but no “firsts” of any kind. She felt very alone. When she signed the last of her graduation paperwork she was required to do an update of contacts. Who was listed? Her dad and Grandma Susie….tears. She was 0 for 2.

Friday I had taken off half a day to try to straighten out more of Archie’s medical bills, cobra, bank crap, and on and on…… . Taylor’s car decided to breakdown this week and needed to be towed. At least it broke down at home so she was safe, but they refused to tow it unless someone was with the car. Add it to the list of “to do’s” on Friday. Mom’s going to be home anyway.

I felt terrible for the tow truck driver. Taylor’s car was one that Lee found for her and her dad helped with the test driving and paperwork. When her car was being pulled onto the flatbed, tears were streaming down my face. It was so sad to see this other piece of our puzzle in nonworking order. The poor gentleman looked at me and said, with kindness in his eye,”I’ll take good care of her. Are you ok?” Goldie is another family member, that Archie had a hand in and she was leaving. Stupid, but I felt another sense of loss, even though I know she’s coming back.

Taylor got home as Goldie was leaving and stood with me, watching as she went down the road. Even she felt the emptiness. I needed out. I asked Taylor if she wanted to run to the store and she was just as anxious as me.

We just ran to Sam’s Club to get a few necessities, splurged for coffee, using a DD gift card, then we decided to walk around Target, just to stay away a bit longer. Taylor received a text from her bff. Did Taylor have time to go shopping with her? Taylor looked at me, as we don’t go out a lot together, as if to see if my feelings were going to be hurt. No, I reassured her. I’m a big girl and she needs a life of her own. Since we had ridden together, I could drop her off.

This is where it gets funny. I stop at the apartment, Taylor get out, turns around and says,”Call when you get home, so I know you are alright.” My response was, of course, “Yes, mom.” 😀

My 21 year old realizes, there are no guarantees in life or for life. Every moment is a gift. She is old beyond her years. I am proud of her for a lesson well learned. Sad how she was educated.

Mark 13:32 “But concerning that day or that hour, no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”

Today we had a talk about how keeping a close tab on me isn’t going make make me last/live any longer, not that I go anywhere or do anything. I cannot imagine living Taylor’s life. Currently Grace is trying to help her plan her future, but she is struggling with viewing her future as short lived, so her goals are short term. We talked about how she can’t concentrate on what she thinks she can accomplish. If she focuses on what God has for her to do, time and accomplishments won’t matter, but she will ultimately be fulfilled. It goes back to dad’s song,” What will you do with the time you have left.” She’s thinking about it…. .

Are you?

 

 

 

Author: Tracy Cook

Widowed one week before our 27th wedding anniversary, Heavenly Dad continues to carry me, now blessing me with a second chance for love.

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