The List

Friday, March 11th, will be/is 4 weeks from when I found Archie. That still haunts me and I don’t know what to do or how to handle that memory. I’m going to attempt a grief share group next week to try and learn coping skills. Archie and I both valued seeking out others who have walked similar journeys and mapped a trail. Their path may have taken a different route, but the terrain is similar.

Tonight I tried to sort a few receipts. There are areas of Archie’s I still haven’t touched much, the top of his dresser, for instance. He kind of piled things while he was in chemo, to “go thru later.” Later never came. In the mix was a list he made while we were seeing our accountability/marriage guy (seeking out those who have gone before…):

“10 Things I Love about Tracy”

I cried. All but one I am saving for my self, but I thought I’d share the one that meant the most to me:

“#7 I love when I hug her I get the feeling that she will never let go”

He was right.  My favorite place was with my head next to his heart. I could listen to his perfect rhythm forever. His heart was beating for me…. .

Have you made lists for the people you love? Why not? What are you waiting for? If you are waiting for the internet to load, you have time. In a medical/dental waiting room, you have time. Before bed, you have time.  Lunch break? Put down the phone and pick up a pen and paper, you have time.

I can read the same scripture 10 different times and get 10 different applications from it. Today when I read this, this is the message I got:

1 Corinthians 13:1-3  “1If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels{I think of this as being educated and spiritual}, but do not have love{TIME}, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal{when I say “I love you” those words are empty}. 2If I have the gift of prophecy{spiritual or how about a financial plan?}, and know all mysteries and all knowledge{problem solvers, insightful, one who studies}; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains{deep belief, love of God, and indisputable faith}, but do not have love{TIME}, I am nothing. 3And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned{self sacrificing to the point of pain}, but do not have love{TIME}, it profits me nothing.”

Love is TIME folks. You can donate your time for all kinds of great causes, you can sell your time to employers, you can educate yourself so your time is taken up by solving world problems, but when your time is gone, who is going to mourn your absence? Where should you really invest the majority{notice, not all, but the most} of your time? If you want to do all those other valuable things, why not do them with the ones you love  (not by force) and make memories while changing the world–it’s a 2-fer.

Don’t have time to spend with the ones you love? You don’t have time not to. Ask Archie… .

Make your list. He did.

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