For people who ask,”How R U doing”

This weekend Taylor decided she needed to get me out of the house. Friday she whisked me off to First Fridays for two hours to “warm me up.” For the last…since I remember, when our family has gone to First Fridays in Goshen together we buy a pretzel or something small and inexpensive and split it three ways. Then we head to get coffee. We walk around town, browsing the antique and used furniture shops. We narrate stories of which we are the main character and the people we work with the remaining cast. Good times.

This night was another in our journey of trying to find a new normal. Arch and I had picked up a coupon in November for a buy-on-get-one-free pretzel to use on our next First Friday adventure. It expired March 31, so Taylor coaxed me into the money savings event: our very own pretzel each and getting coffee with coffee cards, essentially: free coffee. Besides, supper: check!(remember, supper is still on the fly at our house. Any food counts, even if it’s in the pretzel or chocolate category).

Saturday came, we decided to visit Mishawaka. I haven’t been there since maybe November, as well, because Archie’s back couldn’t handle the drive compounded with shopping. Whoever thought shopping could be such a challenge?

I’ll give an example:

Easter shaped noodles: cute, colorful and full of memories. Every holiday I would make Archie his most favorite dish, macaroni salad. He loved it growing up. It took me 10 years to figure out just the right blend. Now Easter is coming and it’s the first time in 27 years I have no reason to make it. Tears.

We went to the Christmas Tree shop, my goal was to find the Blueberry coffee Archie liked to drink on Sunday mornings, something different. Taylor can buy cases of 80 Kerig cups for $24, a really great price. Arch and I would always say that was a waste of money for us because we would just split a pot.

I bought my first case of kerig cups…..tired of throwing away the other half pot of coffee. Tears. And so went our day of shopping. Shop, tears, shop, tears. It was exhausting. Not the day of shopping anticipated, but necessary, none the less.

 “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” James 1:2-4

I feel like I will never be complete again, but I will trust in Him. That’s how we are doing today. Tomorrow has yet to be written…. .



2 thoughts on “For people who ask,”How R U doing”

  1. If it helps you, perhaps you could consider continuing to brew your full put of coffee and making the macaroni salad, and then taking it with you to go visit Archie! Each person grieves differently and so each needs something different; no one can rightly judge. If it makes you feel better and allows you to transition more gradually into a new normal, then perhaps sharing more than just your thoughts with him when you visit might help! (You could even plant a hearty plant nearby and “feed” it with your coffee and such. 😉 Just a thought.)
    Love and prayers ALWAYS! <3

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