Onajourney4home–Archie went home February 12, 2016, and now I begin my journey. I would say I have a single one way ticket, but that is really not an accurate statement.
Everyday my Heavenly Dad shows up in a new way and reminds me I am never alone. I cannot say I always like the way He makes His entrance, because, to be blunt, He could choose to keep the door closed and a rescue would be unnecessary. What can I say….crap happens, and I’m glad He’s there.
The night of the funeral we came home to find a four inch creek running through our garage, sigh. Did I need that? Make that a no. Want it? No. Did God Show up? Yes. The next morning He showed up in the form of Scott and Tanya Miller. One to fix the plumbing, the other to comfort the heart.
Monday was Taylor and I’s first day back at work. I love my job. Archie loved my job. No two days are ever the same and I have been blessed with the opportunity to help people who are battling cancer or have suffered loss create beauty to share and comfort others, taking the focus off of their own problems. I get to help companies begin a program to grow their business and reach ladies who are looking to craft and create with like-minded folk. Let’s just say Monday morning was a very good morning. Lots of excitement and successful endeavors and then I realized…..there would be no smiling Archie face at home to ask me, “How was your day?” No one to react with as much energy and enthusiasm as I felt in my soul and…… there never would be again. I cried.
Solemnly we ventured to the cemetery as Archie was laid to rest. More tears. We were leaving the cemetery and I realized I was holding my breath. I thought,”….and breath…” but now some honesty: I thought, “but I don’t want to…..” No, I am anything but suicidal.
You see, we had a plan, both Archie and I. A plane crash. Yep, both of us together. Had God not read the manuscript? We worked very hard on creating our demise so there would no division at the end. We would remain together, always. Hmmmmmm. “not my will but thine……”
Our day was not over. Taylor and I came home to a bird that had flown down our chimney and was fighting to get out of the fireplace. “Lord, I’m too tired for this,” was of course my response. A small fire to scare the bird back up the chimney? Tried it. Lots of noise? To no avail. Did I mention I was at the end of me?
The bird kept hitting the glass doors and I knew it would eventually pop the doors open and we’d have a loose bird in the house. Net, I needed a net. I don’t fish nor do I catch butterflies. Plan B? I tore apart a poster frame and thru a sheet over it, creating a McGyvered net.
Taylor on one side of the fireplace, me on the other with the instruction,”hold the frame tight against the wall until the bird flies in. What next? Trust me…..I’ll loosen the sheet and wrap the bird up, then take it outside.
I popped the doors open and we waited. It was a bit but finally that stuburn bird hopped out and into my sheet net! Yeah! I loosened the sheet and was starting to wrap the bird when it lunged against Taylor’s side. Taylor got scared and let go….bird loose. Did I mention the fatigue factor?
For 15 minutes I chased that bird around our house as it landed on shelves, the refridg, slamming into closed windows, hiding behind shelves. ugh. Finally I caught the bird, in flight, with my make shift net, wrapped it up, and out it went.
I was so grateful it was over. I hoped Taylor had learned a valuable lesson: When things are scary and difficult, hold on….or things only get worse. Oh, crap, no that lesson was for me.
What would have happened if Archie and my plan would have been granted, like some genie in a bottle wish? What about Taylor? No child deserves to be parentless, and neither Arch or I would want that. Now the question…..why him? I will say this, last year was awful for him. He was beyond himself in stress and more than once we asked him to walk away….but he felt he couldn’t. Was this God’s mercy? Only God knows. I’ll ask Him when My journey is over and I “arrive.”
Until then, even when things are scary and difficult, we will hold on, trusting my heavenly Dad. I only see the ugly puzzle piece directly in front of me. He sees the masterpiece waiting to be completed, one piece at a time. This journey is just beginning but….we will trust in Him.