Isaiah 53:7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth.
Have you ever prayed for God to help you to “shut up?” I have—make that AM.
When Taylor was a teenager she complained I would lecture her. Then again, most teenagers probably think a conversation consisting of more than two or three sentences is a lecture. Nevertheless, I tucked that accusation/opinion away.
When Archie and I had disagreements, we would give each other opportunities to fully explain our “sides” of misunderstandings or disagreements. While listening to each other we would try to do heart checks, making sure that we weren’t making pointed sentences to hurt the other person. We knew that not just words but the effects of words last for a lifetime, far after the disagreement was over. We tried to choose our words carefully. That takes time.
Eric is a bullet point person. When I formulate my reasoning, the words drown out the subject matter. I knew how to “speak Archie” for 28 years and now I am learning a new dialect called “Eric.” It’s tough as learning any new language is. I’m older and things take longer to “sink in.” Since I desperately desire to speak in a way that Eric can clearly understand because I love him, I’d prefer not to have to wait 26 more years. I want my words to give a clear picture of my heart when I try to communicate. I don’t know how to do that so I’m asking for help.
I need to have my mind renewed/revamped with a completely new set of communication skills. The most important is to: shut up. Sounds holy, doesn’t it? The problem is that my mind formulates paragraphs as I have always spoken in word pictures (and I like to write—go figure). How can Heavenly Dad change that?? I didn’t know but I trusted Him. I started praying for Him to help me “shut up.” In case you’re wondering, God can work immediately or he can chink off little bits of the crap that I/we need to get rid of a little at a time. I think of it as the Master sculptor chipping away at His masterpiece (not that I look, feel or act like one) and that’s what He’s been doing for over a year.
Though still a massive work in progress, I finally had a break through. Eric and I were in a discussion with a group of people and there were points flying everywhere—everyone had their own opinions, Biblically based. Then people started to get feathers ruffled, including me. I don’t like anyone pressuring me to change my beliefs because of their interpretation of scripture. I trust Heavenly Dad to reveal truth to me when I’m ready. For the first time, instead of formulating my “comeback” I sat quietly and listened to them and no comeback or reasoning was in my mind. I actually did a self-analysis and thought,”Wow! I’ve got nothing! This is so cool!” It’s not that they were changing my mind. Heavenly Dad gave me a peace that it’s not for them to convince me or me to convince them. He can and will speak for Himself. I just need to read, talk with Him and then listen. He will give understanding in love. The love part is what gets lost when we humans feel it necessary to change the minds or convince someone that a particular thinking is incorrect. Maybe it is but battering a frustrated person with facts won’t help them feel Heavenly Dad’s unconditional love or acceptance.
“I had nothing” and was the best ever feeling and description of an answer to prayer. “Thank you, Father!!!”
If giving up the need to feel,” justified, heard, and ultimately right” gave me this much peace what else am I trying to control or hang onto that is actually causing anxiety? Chink, chink, a couple more pieces fall off. Boy does He have a long way to go!
Until next time: blessings!