Years ago, six to be exact, Archie and I had a discussion that was so convicting it hit my Facebook page. It was one of those things that you write, get it off your chest and then you move on. Facebook however, doesn’t let those things die. “Your Memories“ pop up on a consistent basis. Often when I’d write something I would tag my kiddo in it. She now has this ability to catch the memories I’m blind to and draw attention to them.
This week was another set of memories I ignored and then I got a notification. Taylor shared my post. “What post?“ As I hadn’t posted anything for a few days. The post that she shared was me talking about tools and where God uses the difficulties in life. I gave examples, some of which were mine, others were struggles that I knew other people were dealing with. The difficulty with revisiting this post was that I had acquired another tool I had mentioned that wasn’t mine at the time. The tool was being a widow.
With that being said and the uncertainty of the future, a lump in my throat appeared. Another tool I mentioned was diabetes and my mom was diabetic. Now I’m wondering…?
When I look at this post, in my mind I picture a toolbox, red metal with a lot of the paint knocked off. There is rust in the corners and the latch is fastened but has no lock. I keep this mental toolbox beside my purse or in my car. I need to have it readily available and as a bonus I don’t have to worry about trying to keep another key straight (I have been accused of carrying a set of janitor’s keys).
As I mentally look at the toolbox, my first thought was, “That toolbox is full. I don’t want any more tools.” Though that sounds super selfish, and it probably is, but I’m just being honest. It’s the
guise of the “full plate. ” You know, when there are so many trials, you talk to God and you say, “My plate is full I can’t take anymore!” Instead, often it feels like God grabs you another, for “seconds.”
The crazy thing is, I have used each and everyone of those tools. Someone has had a need, and when I asked Heavenly Dad how I could possibly help, He lovingly reached into that battered toolbox, handing me the right tool at the right time to help. In that respect I can’t say, “enough tools!”. When I remember whose hand went in I realize, it’s not my toolbox…it’s His.
Here’s the memory:
Thoughts for today….
Yesterday Taylor Cook and I were discussing why negative things/physical aliments either happen or why God doesn’t heal everyone who asks.
Today @ lunch while chatting w/Arch the subject came up again. These were some of our thoughts…what are yours?
What if God came to you, like actually came to your door, and said He had something extremely important to talk about with you. He said there is this tool He has to reach those that are hurting, feel betrayed, are lost, or are hopeless. He shares His intense desire to comfort and give peace but He needs you.
Wow! God needs me! What could I possibly have that God could use? Why did He come to MY door? What could possibly make me that special?
God continues: He explains, this tool is vital to His work. People are hurting and He wants to comfort and encourage them with the use of this tool. You can see the pain in His face when He speaks of the discomfort in the world, but His brow softens and His face is peaceful as He shares the hope and reassurance the world is about to experience with your help and reliance on Him.
My heart palpitates! Help others in need? Give hope?!!!! Me?
He warns that there will be pain and sacrifice on my part. Change that….GREAT pain and sacrifice.
….what would you say?
The truth is the tool is unique to each one of use, what is yours?
Is your tool cancer? Can you relate to an unbeliever in a way that someone not going through it just couldn’t understand?
Is your tool sympathy? Have you grieved the loss of a child…a parent…a spouse…best friend? Can you cry with someone because you genuinely feel their pain?
Is your tool diabetes? Can you give encouragement to those that are just beginning this journey and express that God loves them just they way they are. Can you explain, with empathy, God has created them for a purpose and this disease is not a punishment, it’s a purpose?
Is your tool depression? WHAT? That CANNOT be a tool I yell…ever so reverently, of course…. . Yes, He explains. Can you teach and model complete dependency…moment, by moment, by sometimes agonizing moment, on Him? Can you can give the weight of the world to God and trust that He is big enough to carry it, even if that means giving it to Him over and over and over again?
Sometimes I feel so helpless in a world full of pain and suffering. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself because of my shortcomings and physical limitations.
What if….what if I took the focus off of me…? What if I looked for someone else who is at the beginning of a difficult journey that I just finished? What if I got up enough nerve to seek out someone who successfully completed a journey that has stopped me dead in my tracks.
What is my tool?
Until next time: Blessings!