1 John 1:6-7 If we claim that we share life with him, but keep walking in the realm of darkness, we’re fooling ourselves and not living the truth. But if we keep living in the pure light that surrounds him, we share unbroken fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, continually cleanses us from all sin.
That first sentence about did me in this week. Do you ever do random self checks to see how you’re doing physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially? OK, so I probably wouldn’t do them all at one time because I don’t emotionally want to tank, LOL.
Last weekend I took a hard look at my thought life. I stopped and actually thought about,”What am I thinking about?” Then I evaluated it according to biblical standards: “Finally, my brother, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Phil 4:8
Let’s just say, I’m grateful nobody is grading my thought life. If they did I’d be begging for them to grade it on a curve. Some days are better than others, but for the weekend, a big fat “D+” might’ve been considered generous. The description from the verse,” walking in the realm of darkness,” was accurate. The sad thing is, I didn’t realize I was doing this but it was reflected in the way I reacted to people and even my fury kids! The next part of the verse rang true,” (If we claim that we share life with him) we’re fooling ourselves and not living the truth.”
In my self-evaluation, I was wondering where the negative thoughts were coming from. It’s not like I’m thinking life threatening thoughts, but they were not lovely, encouraging, or commendable—you know the Biblical ones. Once I realized that, I turned my brain off and my eyes on.
I looked at the atmosphere I was choosing to place myself in. What music was I listening to? What shows were I watching? Where was I spending my time, with whom and what were their moods? What was I surrounding myself with: positive or negative influences?
My negative self talk was justified in by head as being humble, lowly traits I thought were referenced in Proverbs 3:34, “He mocks proud mockers but shows favor to the humble and oppressed.” In all honesty, I was oppressing myself and I don’t think that’s what Heavenly Dad had in mind.
I had to chew on that one a bit.
Sunday service reiterated my line of thinking when pastor Kyle referenced fruit. I can’t plant the seeds of an orange and expect to grow an apple tree anymore than I can be in negative situations and expect ME to be positive. His example spider webbed my mind to yet another example: a white rose. If you freshly cut a white rose then put it in colored water, it drinks/takes in the color from the water. A white rose can turn into the most beautiful shade of orange, pink, or even blue! If you split the stem into three separate glasses you will have a tri-colored rose (at least the examples I’ve been shown). If the water is murky gray, guess what color of flower you’re going to get. What is sucked up, or goes in, seeps into every pore of that rose’s being and comes out for all to see.
As if those weren’t enough elbows in my ribs by Heavenly Dad, He sent a third message at, of all places, the hospital (was that a hint that I needed some healing???). I was with Taylor, waiting for test results, when a book caught my eye on Anxiety. I know a lot of anxious people (I am in the middle of that list) so I decided it might be worth thumbing through as I was waiting in line for coffee (shocker). It’s a short read, big font and lots of double spacing–SOLD! Not only was I taken aback by the simple truths, but Taylor wants to read it when I’m done! One of the topics covered is the root of anxiety and possible answers for killing them. One root is dwelling on negative thinking, the “What if’s” in life (Seven Answers for Anxiety by Gregory L Jantz, Phd).
“Ok, ok! I’ve got it! I’m a dweller. That’s….normal…ish, right?” I asked Heavenly Dad. The issue was, if I’m dwelling on negatives (“what if this happens, that happen, the other happens?!?!?!”), I’m taking out the God factor, the one that says He is the Creator, Controller, Provider, Comforter, Peacemaker, Healer, and need I go on?
Proverbs 3:5–6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Time for the rest of the top verse: ” But if we keep living in the pure light that surrounds him, we share unbroken fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, continually cleanses us from all sin.” Though Eric and I agreed that, since we hadn’t fallen into bed until after midnight Saturday night (veeeery long day), we were going to go to “TV church” Sunday morning. We would then sleep until our bodies said they were done sleeping. Heavenly Dad had other plans because my body was wide awake by 8:05 and Eric’s 10 minutes later. Off to church we went were I ‘heard’ the second Heavenly Dad elbow and we shared unbroken fellowship with our small group leaders after the service. Hmmmm, next? Well, how does He ‘cleanse us from all sin’? Confession it is. Thank God/Jesus for forgiveness!!! I gotta go.
Praying for you! Until next time: Blessings!