“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord” Romans 12:19
Romans 12:14 “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.”
Matthew 6:12 “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
Have you ever had a season where behind every door seemed to be a Negative Nelly lurking in the darkness to steal you joy? Sometimes she is disguised as a friend who pokes holes in every dream you share. Sometimes she looks like my accountability person who is speaking honestly, but it stings so it feels negative though truthful. Life can take the form of Miss Nelly when one thing after another breaks down and I feel like I’m constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop , aka waiting for the next repair.
These are difficult but what happens when the negativity is in my mind. Sometimes wounds buried deeply and long forgotten begin to fester. A quirky circumstance rips a scar open and there is yucky memories along with corresponding feelings I can’t describe. The infection from the unhealed lesion seeps out and contaminates everything around me. The poison affects my relationships, personal and professional. It obscures my focus to the point I can‘t remember where I parked in a parking lot. Sometimes I arrive somewhere and can’t remember the drive there, every mile a lost memory.
The focus on the revived pain steels every ounce of happiness and joy. The echo in the the darkness is deafening as I call or scream but it’s as if no one can either hear or see me. Maybe it’s just me.
These verses along with the Dani dental visit reminded me that forgiveness is the light that breaks through the darkness. The more forgiveness the brighter the light until the black is gone.
After I feel the warm glow on my up turned cheeks and feel the weight off my shoulders I can choose to obediently trust. Heavenly Dad will avenge the perpetrator(s) of who or whatever had taken me captive in darkness. I am then commanded to do the impossible(in my own strength-only with God) and bless those that have wronged me.
“Why?!?” I will never know the pain I have caused others. I will hope and pray that they will find it in their hearts to show me that mercy. Also, Heavenly Dad will forgive me only what I am willing to forgive others—enough said on that one.
Thanksgiving is days away and I have been allowed time to reflect on this last year. Casting Crowns
reverberates from the laptop, my fury kids laying on or across me and Eric, wearing his hoody, at the other end of the sofa, is kind enough to keep my legs warm. One year ago I came home to a quiet empty house, between travels—little time for my boys—and awkward weekends with a semi-stranger who would sleep at my house while I crashed at Taylor’s.
A year later my daughter and son-in-law no longer make up a couch for me as they are building a bedroom for my soon-to-arrive granddaughter. The semi-stranger from Grand Rapids is my closest friend and now other half. My house is filled with soft music, Bible prophecy studies, or football games, all shared. I’m thankful beyond words and my cup overflows (careful it might get on you, but it’s better than the infection described earlier, lol).
What I am learning is forgiveness opens doors, especially to my heart, I never dreamed. God’s time table is completely different than mine but He is never late. Lastly, life may change completely but that doesn’t mean it’s bad or sad, it’s just different. Joy isn’t a feeling it’s a choice and I need to be thankful. Happy Thanksgiving, dear friends!
Praying for you. Until next time: Blessings!