Burn the Ship

Genesis 2:24, Mark 10:27, Ephesians 5:31,”Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife,”

Heavenly Dad repeated this sentence at least 3 times. Do you think He was serious?

I gave my lovely daughter away August 25th, 2018. I wanted to share with you the well thought out way my, then daughter’s boyfriend, asked for her hand in marriage:

I was blessed with the opportunity to teach Heartfelt Classes for two days near Seattle Washington. Ten minutes after my last class ended I hear my cell phone ringing(Since my phone seldom rings I was very surprised at the reminder of my ringtone). I picked up the phone and was greeted by a Facebook live from Taylor’s Kristian. I’ll admit I was a smidgebit rattled, thinking maybe Taylor was hurt.

Kristian: ”Hi, Tracy! How was your day?”

Me: “Fiiiiine (spinning the phone around so he could see the last two students walking out the door). I’m done for the day, how are you?”

Small talk ensued as Kristian obviously had something else on his mind.

Kristian: “Hey, Tracy, do you recognize this?” He holds up Taylor’s purity ring. So my stomach might have done a flip flop or two wondering why it was off her finger but also recognizing it was her choice to wear it at all.  “Can I trade her?” he continued. He holds up the engagement ring as he says,”Mine is much more sparkley.”

And how can a mom say no to that?  Ok, so I may have put on one tiny stipulation since they had dated but three months and I knew there were going to be gaps in communication “blinded by Loooove.”

Me: “As long as you guys take premarital counseling, you have my blessing.”

In that moment the conversation had changed from talking to the guy my daughter was dating to my future son-in-law…one blink of an eye.

Fast forward to the nuptials.

Arch and I had attended his boss’ son’s wedding. Nowadays instead of the unity candle, couples do sand, three strand ropes and other more modern ceremonies. I don’t even remember which they had but the pastor was explaining the early settlers as  a lead in. He explained that when the US was settled, often there would be horrible storms, frigid winters, starvation, loneliness and fatigue. It was only a matter of time until, in their minds, they would justify jumping back into the ship sitting within sight line and going home, leaving their dream of a new life half undone, never realizing the full potential or reaping it’s benefits.

After a while, this was an understood possibility so when new settlers arrived the captains would do the unthinkable: burn the ship. That removes the thought of ever going back so no one would work half heartedly. They were going to make their new world work or die trying.

Arch and I instantly looked at each other and smiled. We knew… . As soon as we met back up with Taylor we shared that IF Heaven Dad ever blesssed her with the opportunity to get married, instead of a unity candle, sand, braid, whatever, we thought she ought to burn a ship. That would represent the new life/path/journey/adventure and there would be no going back. Marriage, though awesome, is difficult. Everyone at one time or another thinks about going back or quiting when it’s hard, your lover has hurt you, communication is unclear, and you feel the most alone you have ever felt…but your married.

We told her she needed to burn the boat.

Long story short-too late-she was less than enthusiastic. She basically said thank you for  the information but no thank you.

Five or so years later her shipmate came into fruition and Sir Kristian is more of an adventurous spirit. He loved the idea and the rest is history-literally-I have attached a picture!

When Heavenly Dad gave this command over and over, He wasn’t doing it to divide families but create stronger family units that respect and support one another.

Whether it is your wedding coming up, your child’s or you are the one sitting on the shore line contemplating swimming back to the ship to give up and go home, our(Heavenly Dad and me) challenge is to:

BURN THE SHIP and give the relationship all that you’ve got without the distraction of your past.

Until next time: Blessings!

One thought on “Burn the Ship

  1. Tracy! Great advice! Too many young couples and older ones too, don’t see past the trouble times! All things are possible if God directs it!

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