Love=No Fear

Verse of the Day
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

Wow! Did you see the heavens open up, confetti erupt, and hear angel voices, with trumpets, blaring from above? I felt very close to that, though with slight exaggeration, when I read this verse.

Communication and relationships are front and center in my life and line of work. I am incredibly grateful for on going training opportunities in these areas but then there are the personal relationships. These have a category all to themselves.

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Grace and I are Friday coffee buddies and she helps me keep my spiritual and personal relationship caps on straight. She isn’t afraid to ask me tough questions and I have no fear in giving her honest answers. I’m sure she has not always completely agreed with everything the circus in my life is performing, but you’d never guess. She continues to show up and love me unconditionally.

In one of our Friday banters, marriage health came up. Since I’m not married but have a daughter and son-in-law fresh out of the gate, I was all ears as Grace shared tools from her,”Happily Ever After” repair kit. Let’s face it, white horses have to poop and carriages break down. There’s no such thing as a straight shot from “Happily” to the “Ever After.” It’s a journey.

Side note/butterfly: I did come across an amazing quote this week: “Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter.”— Izaak Walton

The key question to me would seem to be: how do two flawed humans remain good company when they get hot, tired, sweaty, stressed, and lost on that carriage ride to “Ever After”?

Grace shared with me her passion  for the book, The 5 Love Languages. It talks about how we all need love but there are different ways to communicate that one word. We could be loving on someone the way we define love but instead of filling their love tank, we’re drilling holes in the bottom and lighting a fuse at the top!

This made me curious: I wonder what my love language is??? Ebay to the rescue! Actually, I checked out the book from the library first, to get a head start, but am expecting my very own copy to hit my mailbox any day now. I will be able to highlight and underline until my heart is content.

It is an amazing read and I feel like I have missed out on how to fully understand the needs of individuals, for the first part of my life. I also realize that I already had a few people figured out (thank God) so my relationships were fulfilling, even without the wisdom of the book.

This takes me to a main attraction (not ‘the’)in my circus life. The performers come and go, as I meet new people daily—loving every minute of it—and then they head out to the next tent of opportunity.

A few, or more, blogs ago I shared that separated dudes have a tendency to show up in my life. This week there was another hurting soul, with me shewing them back to the “wife of their youth.” When he said he didn’t think she loved him, I suggested the 5 Love Languages book and starting from the beginning. “Fly on the wall” time for you as he asked me, sincerely, what I think Jesus would say to him in regards to his loveless marriage. Oh, dear…he asked!!!

“Heavenly Dad?!?!?! HELP!”

These are the words He gave me/this was my response: “Something about your wife touched your heart. It takes soooo much time and effort to get past all of the fake layers and see people as they truly are. You have the opportunity to skip all the crap and just work on the problems instead of the time it takes to find the problems!

Scar tissue is very strong. If you two work hard, forgive TONS and let Heavenly Dad heal your relationship, NOTHING will tear you apart! I’m a little passionate about marriage 😉”

I think this goes for other relationships, too. I get so scared and tired of walking on eggshells, I walk away from relationships instead of sitting down, sharing my heart and asking if we can do the tough job of healing, together. Once the wound has been properly cared for and time allowed to heal, that scare tissue isn’t going anywhere, just ask a surgeon!

Love is not about fear and punishment (reminding the individual of past mistakes and/or what a mess they made) but creating a new path with fresh memories. Healing requires dying to self and personal sacrifice, and a good “forgetter” helps, too, when it comes to keeping score.

I hope I got out of Heavenly Dad’s way today and you saw Him and didn’t have to put up with my Mumbo Jumbo!

Until next time: Blessings!

 

 

 

 

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