Won’t Let You Go

“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.”
1 John 4:1 – ESV

Do you ever ever want something but deep down inside you know that there’s something that’s just not right about it? The super crazy thing about this situation is that little things happen that seem to encourage me to do that “deed” or go down that path and I question,”was that a Heavenly Dad wink?”

I need coffee… .

Ahhhh, clean cup (after removing the dead fly that drowned in the reminents of my previous pondering brew) and now I can think.

Holidays, well, any days I don’t work, are tough days.  One day is cool because I catch up on laundry, look into boxes (note: I did NOT say unpack), spend time with the fury kids and run errands. I fall onto the couch with all of my boxes checked and realize I’ve had little to no human contact in a world full of people. Hmmm. I’m at a fork with path options on this journey. Do I continue straight, on my current path, of solitude on down days, try to find ladies groups, again, who might not have plans with their families on the same days I might be alone (but I don’t always know when that is going to be), or do I even want to consider that Heavenly Dad might have a completely different path in mind where the terrain varies so the path is never mundane, there are storms but gorgeous rainbows to follow, and more than anything,  a journey of adventure and trust to reach Heavenly Dad’s home with other people?

More coffee… .

I had the opportunity for a nondate with a widower this week, although he did pay for my refill(????).  I like to hear about other love stories and how folks handled the situation, at the time, and how they are doing now. I’m in a bit of an odd age bracket because, though my kid has graduated from college and has her own life, not all families stopped baring children after one. Those individuals are still raising kids. The other end of that spectrum is those that say their grandkids (I call them grands) have gotten them through and continue to do so. This is an interesting place to be.

Looking online for others in my shoes has proven overwhelming and near fruitless. There are websites, technically dating, but widows/widowers can just look for friends with whom to chat.  You know what happens with those: a site full of hurting people opens the door for weirdos on “fishing” excursions (I am still not sure what that all entails but have heard horror stories).

More coffee and refocusing: fork, nondate, options.

In my discussion with this widower, the path directly after his life was turned upside down and mine were completely different. I cannot imagine traveling without Heavenly Dad as my guide, but I listened intently as he explained what that path was like. His road full of emptiness, using people and being used. Still, though, part of him kept justifying his, admittedly, poor choices by saying he learned a lot. In speaking further with him, he was still pulled toward some of those habits as he desires a second “Happily Ever After” but is willing to make due until he finds it (IF he finds it).

I listened. In my mind I could completely understand the feelings he was expressing, the difficult, lonely journey, but it’s as if Heavenly Dad was sitting beside me whispering,”But you’ve got me!”

So true. This gentleman went on to say,”but what happens if you’re 60 and still alone?” I opened my mouth to speak but heard Heavenly Dad’s voice resignating in my head,”He can wait around for a number on a calendar, if he would like. I think WE choose the crazy path at this fork and see who I bring along to help you keep perspective of not only what is waiting for you but what you have and even gained: a stronger relationship with Me.”

I’ll take it. I guess I need to hold on because this journey is getting interesting! Here’s a final thought: could holding on to Heavenly Dad ACTUALLY mean…letting go? Here’s a song to think about that.

Until  next time: Blessings!

2 thoughts on “Won’t Let You Go

  1. Sure could! Makes me think of when we were overseas and realized God could be calling us back to the US. We loved where we were, the people we were working with, were learning so much – yet God called us to let go and leave it all behind and move on. No doubt about it. Keep your eyes on what He has next on your agenda! Love you!

  2. Age is but a number. I admire your relationship with your Heavenly Dad..
    Love you bunches Bug
    I’m always here for you, just a phone call or text away 😘

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