Yet another call from the hospital about overdue bills. Satan knows exactly what button to push for the bottom to fall out of my world.
It was another message on the answering machine to greet me when I got home. Isn’t that the “Welcome Home” everyone desires after a day of work? My spirit tanks, along with my attitude.
I proceed to grab all of my receipt and medical bills dating from 11/15, scrutinizing every charge. Errrr! Taylor walks in the door, cheery. Today was the color change day at the Depot. Clothes that haven’t sold for a period of time go down to $.50. She was all smiles as she showed me a Christmas outfit she had gotten me for $1.07, including tax. I grumpily said,”When I am looking at over 5 grand that they are saying I need to pay out of pocket, is not the time to show me ANY dollar spent.” Grump, Grump, Grump.
I e-mail the insurance rep, then grab my budget, already cut to the bone, trying to figure out where to get blood from the turnip. Good times.
Stop. Breath. Taylor stands quietly looking at me with pain in her eyes. I apologize. My Heavenly Dad has NEVER let me down, how dare I doubt His provision. I confess,”Taylor, I know everything’s going to be ok. I should NOT have a crappy attitude.”
The outfit that she got me was brand new, still having on the tags! I have been working on Christmas card stuff for weeks at home. She found this adorable Christmas plaid dress to encourage my Christmas spirit, knowing my face leaks a lot concerning this topic.
What an awesome daughter. Shame on me.
Romans 8:32 “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?”
I wish I could say “lesson learned,” but this is an on going war with my emotions and fear that I face, one battle at a time. Maybe next time I will recognize it a little more quickly and not be such a poo-poo head to my loving daughter.
I often feel like I am waiting for my miracle of healing. I forget the healer has already come… .
Until tomorrow: Blessings