God has such a sense of humor…and timing. Yesterday the waves of uncertainty were completely crashing in on me with images of finding Archie burned in my memory and me unable to cope. Today…God sent Mary.
Ms. Mary is a young woman with beautiful white hair (;)). Emma Lou and Linda know Mary from church and one of the monthly card classes. They had shared with me that she had lost her husband to cancer after just 3.5 weeks after diagnoses, when she was in her early forties. Sound familiar?
In customer service we take customer calls as they come in, unless they have our direct extensions. Today, Mary called. She was shocked when she heard,”This is Tracy speaking.” She told Emma Lou that if I ever needed to talk, I could call, and that she was praying for me. She wasn’t expecting me to answer HER call.
After her sincerest apologies for my “situation” she started sharing about the time she lost her husband, her journey. How even long after his passing she expected him to walk through the door, even though in her mind she knew he never would….but her heart wanted him to so badly. Wow….I thought I was going nuts, but this person has felt my insanity and lived to tell about it–there may be hope for me yet ;).
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 “ Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”
I’ll bet when Mary began her journey…that many years ago…she never dreamed she would one day be promoted to guide. God used her experience with this particular pain to bushwhack a path for those of use who are tangled in the vines of confusion and loneliness. The thought would not have excited her. She probably would have doubted her ability to lead.
What she spoke of most was focusing on the positive memories and relying on her faith. She was compassionate and without judgment. She relayed her journey and did not make suggestions for mine, as she alluded to the fact that mine was a different path.
If that weren’t enough, God sent another angel by the name of Willis, one of the founders of Heartfelt Creations. He arranged for and supervised the fixing of a major house repair that I cannot even begin to explain. Tears…oh, so many tears today. Not all were from sadness. Many were because I am in awe of the sacrifices of those around me. They continue to show God’s amazing love and compassion and it’s humbling as I/we are so unworthy.
One day I hope I am strong enough to slice through the bramble of despair for someone else. I pray I will show up in someone’s darkness and be a light of hope (major electrical issue, btw 🙂 ).
Until then, I will take one day at a time. I will listen to the words God has for me through the individuals He sends on my journey. I will accept the help others offer, as we have always wanted to “take care of ourselves” and now I admit I am unable.
2 Cor. 12:9 (again) But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Me weak<God’s power. God must be lookn mighty buff right now, ’cause I got nothin’. Just being honest…..